Those who have been through the 12 steps of AA know that sponsors can play a vital role in a recovering alcoholic or addict’s sobriety. Having a sponsor is one of those things people instantly associate with a 12-step recovery program. The role of a sponsor is very helpful, especially for beginners. But, what exactly do AA sponsors do? And is there an alternative figure you can choose instead? Read on to learn about the role of the sponsor and its importance in your recovery journey.
What is an AA Sponsor?
Sponsorship is a relationship in which one person, the sponsor, helps another person, the sponsee, work a recovery program from alcoholism. It’s also called a “sponsor-sponsee relationship.”
A sponsor is someone who’s been through the problems and frustrations of drinking themselves. They completed the 12 steps and found recovery, sharing what they’ve discovered with others. The goal is to grow together and work as accountable figures in each other’s lives.
The sponsor’s role is to help the sponsee through the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is usually a long-term commitment and can be lifelong if both parties agree. A sponsor isn’t an instructor, adviser, or therapist, but rather a fellow addict who understands what it’s like to be caught in the grip of alcoholism and has risen above it by using the twelve steps. The sponsor has no professional qualifications for this role, meaning if the sponsee fails to take responsibility for themselves, it isn’t the sponsor’s fault.
The AA Sponsorship Book
A sponsor is an AA member who has been sober for some time and is committed to helping another alcoholic by providing advice and support during their recovery. They are your support system in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (the “Big Book”).
While there isn’t an AA sponsorship book that guides people through the role, sponsors are encouraged to follow the traditions in the Big Book. They can bring their experiences to the table for the sake of saving yours and their sobriety. They can only do that by ensuring they’re helping you while also staying active in their recovery.
How to Ask Someone to be Your AA Sponsor
Everyone needs different qualities from their sponsor. Some recovering addicts respond well to “tough love,” while others prefer more understanding. When looking for a sponsor, think about these qualities:
- Someone you can relate to
- They have the kind of life you want to achieve in recovery, meaning you look up to them
- They are honest and have integrity
- They’ve been sober and are willing to share their experience with others
- Someone with the time and disposition to be helpful and available
When you find that person, here are some ways to ask them to be your AA sponsor:
- Do you already have a sponsee? If so, how many?
- What motivated you to get sober?
- Do you have any expectations from me?
- Do you live far?
- What motivates you to be a sponsor?
- Would you do a trial sponsor-sponsee relationship to see if we’re a match?
- Would you like to be my AA sponsor?
When to Get a Sponsor?
Getting a sponsor is encouraged from the very beginning. Some people get a sponsor early on in the hopes they can help them navigate the steps. Others wait until they complete the 12-steps to seek an accountability buddy to help them recover. In the end, there’s no right or wrong timeline for seeking a sponsor. Much like in rehab, every sobriety journey is unique.
Get the Help You Need
Whether you’re starting your recovery journey or you’ve been sober for some time, an AA sponsor is a key figure in your journey. Continue to attend meetings even after completing the steps, stay in touch with your sponsor, and don’t lose track of your therapist.
Recovery from addiction is a lifelong journey that involves your active commitment. Don’t hesitate to seek help or reach out for help whenever you feel you might relapse. And, even if you do relapse, remember that it isn’t a failure but a setback. With the right support, you’ll get back on track in no time.
Sources:
https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship
