Alcoholics Anonymous is a peer-based support group that’s open to people of all ages, races, and faiths. Both the individuals who struggle with a drinking problem and those who love them can attend AA meets to learn, share, and find empathy with one another. However, that’s not to say that anyone can just turn up to an AA meeting on any given day. Before dropping in, you’ll need to know the difference between an open and a closed AA meeting.

What is a closed AA meeting?

Open AA meetings are ones that anyone can attend. This means newcomers who are attending their very first AA meeting and want to learn more about the organization as well as non-alcoholics—the friends, family, or coworkers of those with a drinking problem.

The majority of AA meetings, however, are closed. This means that they are limited to current and prospective AA members. There’s no formal membership process in Alcoholics Anonymous so it’s at the discretion of the individual to determine whether they meet the criteria for closed meetings. 

This status of a meeting is usually denoted by the abbreviation ‘OD’ for open discussion or ‘CD’ for closed discussion.

Can I attend a closed AA meeting?

If you’re not sure if this applies to you, refer to Tradition 3—the only thing required is the genuine desire to stop drinking alcohol. If you’ve been attending meetings of the same AA group, you would likely be eligible to go to a closed meeting. If you’re still floating between AA meetings looking for a home group, it could also be a good idea to check with the group beforehand whether you’re considered a member or not. 

Why are some meetings not open to everyone?

Understandably, addiction can be a very sensitive topic. It can take people to dark places that are hard to talk about. Limiting group attendance to those who have committed to the Alcoholics Anonymous ways of operation, namely confidentiality and anonymity, creates an atmosphere where individuals feel more comfortable speaking openly, honestly, and freely. 

The purpose of AA meetings that are available to the general public is to help people learn more about the organization, how meetings are structured, or hear first-hand what dealing with alcoholism is like. It can provide valuable perspective for loved ones who attend Al-Anon or Alateen meetings and also help someone identify whether or not they or someone else is experiencing the same thing.

Open vs closed AA meetings: How are they different? 

The primary difference between open and closed AA meetings is that even with open meetings, it’s typically requested that only members or individuals with alcoholism speak and the newcomers listen and observe. 

Additionally, when the Seventh Tradition collection comes around, non-members will be asked to refrain from contributing (“Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions”).

Aside from those differences, the designation of an open or closed meeting does not inherently determine the format or focus of that meeting. Both open and closed meetings may apply to the various meeting formats: discussion meetings, speaker meetings, or literature meetings. 

Where to find open AA meetings

If you’re trying to locate an AA meeting to attend, the easiest way to find them is online. Many groups will post meeting schedules and details ahead of time. When in doubt, the best option is to call ahead and ask. 

AA meeting advice for beginners

If it’s your first time going to a meeting and you are interested in potentially joining, keep an eye out for beginner meetings. These are geared specifically toward newcomers and tend to focus on the first three of the 12 Steps as an introduction to the organization.

If you’re a newbie and can’t find a beginner meeting at the AA groups near you, another great way to get a feel for the organization, and particularly the people of that group, is to go there early. Lovingly referred to as “the meeting before the meeting”, some members get there early to assist with setting up. 

During this time you have a greater opportunity to make introductions, speak with people individually, and get a one-on-one explanation of that group’s meeting format and what’s coming up. Having an idea of what to expect in an AA meeting is a great way to calm any nervousness you may have about joining for the first time. It’s also the perfect opportunity to let others know ahead of time if you don’t want to introduce yourself or any other specific accommodations you might need. 

Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are typically between 60 and 90 minutes long. There are several different types of meetings that are held, each with specific focuses and routines. One of which is discussion meetings. In this meeting format, a topic related to sobriety is introduced and members discuss it as a group. It’s a great opportunity for new and old members alike to hear different perspectives and gain new insights from peers at varying stages of their recovery journey.

Discussion Meets and other AA Meetings Formats

There are five main Alcoholics Anonymous meeting formats: discussion, speaker, literature-based, meditation, and beginner. The type being held will largely shape how that week’s meeting will function (though they will all begin and end the same way, usually starting with the Serenity Prayer and other readings).  

Discussion meetings are exactly what they sound like. A topic is shared with the group, and all members can discuss and add their two cents. Meditation meetings, on the other hand, may involve some or all of the time having the group partake in silent meditation. 

Speaker meetings are perhaps the most iconic of peer-based support groups. These are when a member shares their story; how they ended up at AA, what made them decide to quit using drugs or drinking, and how they’re faring. Sometimes the floor will be opened up afterward for discussion, but not always. A similar meeting format is the round-robin sharing where the entire group can talk about their personal experiences and respond to one another’s personal divulgences. 

Meetings that revolve heavily around the 12 Steps are literature meetings. These discussions are based on AA literature such as The Big Book or the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. This is the type of meeting that would go over what a step means and how to work it. 

Lastly are the beginner meetings, which are geared towards (but not limited to) newcomers. They usually cover steps one, two, or three which mark the foundational approach for working the twelve steps.  

Who can attend discussion meetings?

There are several nuances that can affect how AA discussion meetings are conducted. These meetings can be open (OD) or closed (CD). Open meetings are open to anyone interested in attending—including new members and non-alcoholics (though they may be asked to refrain from sharing). Closed meetings, on the other hand, are intended only for alcoholics and prospective members. 

Look at a group’s meeting schedule to find out whether the meeting is open or not (most are readily available online). 

AA Topics for Discussion Meetings

No topic is off-limits. Typically, they are related to at least one of the guiding principles of AA and may refer to specific steps, traditions, principles, or even prayers. General ideas of topics for AA open discussion meetings, per the AA website, include:

1. Acceptance

2. Attitude of gratitude

3. Belief in a Higher Power

4. Complacency

5. Contempt prior to investigation

6. Dependence

7. Fear

8. Forgiveness

9. Freedom through sobriety

10. Group inventory

11. Hope

12. Humility

13. Identification

14. Inadequacy

15. Inventory

16. Letting go of anger

17. Let’s be friendly with our friends

18. Living one day at a time

19. Making amends

20. Meditation

21. Open-mindedness

22. Participation and action

23. Patience and tolerance

24. Personal spiritual experience and spiritual awakening

25. Plan the action—not the result

26. Practice these principles in all our affairs

27. Principles before personalities

28. Resentments

29. Responsibility declaration

30. Rigorous honesty

31. Serenity

32. Service

33. Sponsorship

34. Staying away from the first drink

35. Surrender

36. Three Legacies—Recovery, Unity, and Service

37. Twelfth Stepping

38. Understanding Anonymity

39. Ways of carrying the A.A. message

40. What is sobriety

41. Willingness

42. Working with others

If you are part of a specialized AA group, such as one for LGBTQ members, or members of a particular faith, you may find some topics to be more pertinent than others. 

Other things to know about discussion meetings

Just as with any other gathering of Alcoholics Anonymous, sharing is completely optional. Do not worry that you will be forced to chime in or otherwise divulge anything about yourself. There’s a lot that can be gained from AA meetings just from listening. 

If you’re a newcomer, it’s advisable to attend one of the meetings that are tailored for AA newbies. This will give you a better overview of what Alcoholics Anonymous is and how it works. Whichever type of meeting you first attend, keep in mind that if you didn’t like this particular meeting format, there might be a different one that resonates with you later on. It may take a few tries to see if a particular group is a fit. Find a local AA group near you today. 

There are two main reasons why a person would want to stop going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. One is that they feel cured of their alcoholic addiction; they’ve reached a stable point in their recovery journey and feel that they’ve sufficiently soaked in the lessons and wisdom that AA has to offer. The other might be the opposite situation where the peer-based program isn’t resonating with them. In either case, let’s talk about quitting AA: how to figure out if it’s the right call for you, how to go about it, and how to continue your sobriety journey without the organization.

When can I stop going to AA meetings?

One of the greatest features of Alcoholics Anonymous is how easy it is to customize your experience, including, where—and if—you attend. Since AA doesn’t require any sort of formal membership or commitment, you can stop going to meetings whenever you want (unless it’s court-ordered of course).

There’s nothing to be ashamed of

A reason why some might not think it’s okay to do is that the organization itself has a sharp stance on the idea of quitting AA. On page 174 of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book, it says:

“Unless each AA member follows to the best of his ability our suggested Twelve Steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. His drunkenness and dissolution are not penalties inflicted by people in authority; they result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles.”

This gives the impression that quitting AA meetings is something you’re never allowed to do or would guarantee a relapse. However, the operative phrase in this passage is “follows to the best of his ability”. Imagine if you were taking a cooking course halfway through. Do you think that you’d have all the knowledge you need to become a successful chef? Probably not. 

This is essentially the ethos of AA. If you’ve learned the basic principles and made it habitual to implement them in your daily life, then Alcoholics Anonymous has done what it set out to do. If you quit going to meetings before you’ve fully absorbed the 12 Steps, you may not have the perspective or mindset that gives you the best odds of achieving (or maintaining) sobriety.

How to quit AA meetings (and break the news to your group)

Unless you hold a committee position in your Alcoholics Anonymous group, you don’t have any obligation to the other members of the group itself. Once again, you could technically just leave and never return without saying a word to anyone. However, if you’ve been going to the same group for months or years, you’ve likely formed bonds with other attendees, and disappearing could cause them to worry. Here are some steps to take when preparing to break the news to them. 

1. Decide who you want to tell

Whether you’re switching to a different AA group or quitting the organization altogether, you don’t need to announce your decision to leave or notify any of the group members. However, for the people you are closest to, such as your sponsor, you’ll likely want to let them know before just disappearing. If you want to notify those on the group committee as a courtesy you can, but there’s absolutely no obligation to do so. 

2. Have a response ready for any naysayers

If you do plan on telling anyone about your decision to leave, it can be helpful to have a polite but firm response ready for those who might try to convince you to stay. It’s your decision how forthcoming you are with the reason why. If you’re worried about alienating a friend, you can phrase it as that you’re taking a break from meetings but want to keep in touch.  

3. Ask for your information to be removed from any lists

If AA is no longer going to be a part of your life, you may want to ask to have your phone number and email address removed from any correspondence lists. In addition to eliminating outreach about events or other going-ons that are no longer relevant to you, you won’t have to worry about people contacting you trying to get you to return.

4. Have another support system in place

This isn’t something you need to disclose to others, but have some sort of support network in place. Alcoholics Anonymous offers a supportive, nonjudgemental community and structure, both of which are highly important in addiction recovery. Make sure you still have the social security net even if you no longer attend meetings. 

There are plenty of terms and ideologies from Alcoholics Anonymous that have crossed over into mainstream vernacular. The most well-known by far is the concept that admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. This is a reference to Step 1 from AA, one that you’ve very likely heard before even if you’re not in the addiction recovery community. 

Not only is this concept the beginning of the foundation on which all of AA’s 12 Steps are based, but it is central to the fundamental principles of the organization as a whole. If you’re brand new to 12-step-based recovery groups, read this first to learn why being able to admit you have a problem is so important. 

The trouble with denying that you have a drinking problem

Alcoholics—anyone with any type of addiction, really—are often really good at hiding things. This includes hiding things like receipts, injuries, and any signs that their lives are falling apart. Sometimes, they’re so good at this that they end up fooling themselves as well. 

They convince themselves that their drinking habits are fine—and since everything is “fine”, there’s no reason to change. Then, as their substance abuse drives them further and further into isolation and there are only a few (if any) people around them to try and tell them that their drinking is out of hand, this lie gets easier to tell. 

That’s why admitting you have a drinking problem is absolutely pivotal to overcoming addiction. Until reaching this point, an alcoholic likely wouldn’t be receptive to any attempts to change their behavior. Being able to make such an admission is the very sign that you’re now mentally at a place to confront an out-of-control drinking habit.

What are the five stages of recovery?

When working the steps of AA, the first step to recovery is acceptance. However, there’s quite a bit that goes on before a person gets to this stage. The transtheoretical model is a concept that explains the different phases a person goes through before they’re mentally ready to go through addiction treatment. 

1. Precontemplation 

During the precontemplation stage, seeking treatment for alcohol addiction is nowhere on the person’s radar. They’re deeply in denial about their issue; defensive and actively rationalizing their destructive behaviors. Not only are they unwilling to face the reality of their substance abuse, but they’re unable to fully grasp the full scale of the negative consequences.

2. Contemplation

A person who’s open to the idea of getting help or getting treatment has moved into what’s known as the contemplation stage. They’re willing to consider a future that involves being drug-free. They may or may not be willing to admit they have a problem, but they’re far more receptive to friends and family members.

3. Preparation

The preparation stage is entered when a person begins making efforts to change. This could be searching for drug rehab centers online, reading others’ sobriety journeys in forums, dumping their alcohol down the drain, or admitting that they have a drinking problem.

They may successfully go without drinking for a few days. However, it’s common that during this stage people have second thoughts when they realize how much effort getting sober will actually require, and return to the contemplation or even precontemplation stage. 

4. Action

The action stage is marked by continued efforts to make a change in multiple aspects of their life: be it physical, emotional, mental, or social. They’re committed to the process and have successfully maintained prolonged periods of abstinence. Not only are they making the necessary corrections to undo their substance abuse, but they are actively attempting to unlearn old patterns while gaining positive new ones.  

5. Maintenance

As its name implies, the maintenance stage is when a person is continuing their healthy, drug-free lifestyle, and turning abstinence into a permanent habit. Relapse prevention is the primary focus and they have several tools to use to help them deal with triggers and cravings. The person is more independent, confident, and positive about their ability to remain abstinent.

You can only help someone who wants to be helped

No matter how dire a person’s drinking problem may be, nothing will change unless they’re willing to acknowledge its necessity. This can be frustrating to family members and friends as they watch their loved ones self-destruct. While they may be limited in the help they can provide, the situation is far from hopeless. 

A great way to start the addiction recovery process to simply get that afflicted person to an AA meeting. Being confronted with others who have been in their shoes can be the wake-up call they need to get the wheels churning. Find an AA meeting near you and get started for free.

As the Alcoholics Anonymous organization has continued to grow and evolve, so too have the tools and resources available to its members. One of the most practical and sought-after are 12 Steps AA worksheets. They’re great for helping organize thoughts and feelings that might otherwise be chaotic and difficult to confront. Plus, there’s just something about putting pen to paper that, for better or worse, makes things feel more real. Follow these guided worksheet questions for all twelve steps and a simplified explanation of what each of them means.

The 12 Steps of AA: Simplified

Below you’ll find a brief overview of each of the 12 Steps that includes what it means and why it matters. Use this in conjunction with any of the worksheets you use to remind yourself what the step is all about and to compare it to other steps that might have a similar lesson. 

1. You need to be able to admit you have a problem before you can begin recovery. If you’re still in denial, you aren’t in the right mindset for changing. 

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”

2. Relinquishing the need for control and finding an external source of motivation. This “Higher Power” doesn’t need to be a religious entity and can be anything that you find motivational.

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

3. Learn to accept that you cannot control everything. Once you do, you’ll allow yourself to rely on others which opens you to helpful guidance and advice. 

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

4. Taking an honest look at yourself can help you evaluate how your drinking got to such a point, and show you how you can improve. 

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

5. Sometimes we need to be vulnerable and brutally honest with ourselves in order to move forward. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. 

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

6. Motivation is key to creating long-lasting change. After a brutally honest evaluation of ourselves, we identify and release the negative aspects of our character. 

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

7. Achieving change doesn’t happen without humility, accountability, and most of all—action. 

“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings”.

8. Drinking doesn’t just hurt ourselves, but also the people around us. Taking responsibility by acknowledging our past faults will, in turn, help us forgive ourselves. 

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

9. In the last step we talked the talk, now it’s time to walk the walk and do right by the people that we hurt in the past. 

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

10. Make mindfulness a constant practice and remain vigilant that we’re acting and thinking in a way that supports our goals. 

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

11. Don’t expect perfection from yourself, but always strive to be better (and be gracious when you experience setbacks). 

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

12. Help others accomplish their sobriety goals by taking part in the organization and using your experiences as a way to help others who are struggling. 

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

AA Worksheet Resources

https://12step.org/tools/12steporg-worksheets/all-12-step-questions-english/

https://12steppers.org/12-step-programs/12-step-worksheet/

Not sure how to work the 12 Steps?

The 12 Steps is the foundation of Alcoholics Anonymous. They’ve inspired countless other peer-based support groups, bringing hope and change to millions of people. The principle behind each step is as relevant and effective today as it was more than 80 years ago when AA was initially created. 

While it’s possible to read, study, and work the 12 steps on your own, it can be very helpful to have insight and support from peers. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings offer a safe, judgment-free space to meet with others who have gone through similar struggles. Find an AA meeting near you today for guidance on understanding how to incorporate these lessons into your everyday life. 

Being sober is a lengthy process, and it takes hard work.  It may take months or even years to get sober and keep yourself that way. Understanding this before beginning your recovery journey is important so that you don’t feel hopeless, frustrated, or defeated when things don’t go as planned. Nonetheless, if you’re ready to live your sober lifestyle to its fullest, here are some tips to help you get started. 

1. Surround Yourself With Positive Influences

Living a sober lifestyle is all about finding the right support. Whether it’s your partner, parents, siblings, or friends – you need someone who will be there for you. You need to surround yourself with people that bring positivity into your life. It might sometimes feel selfish, but stay away from people constantly involved in drama or challenges that get you down. 

2. Stay Focused On Sobriety

You may be experiencing a multitude of new emotions and sensations right now. It can be challenging to feel so many different things at once, especially when your emotions are heightened by alcohol withdrawal. The key to staying sober is not dwelling on these feelings or thoughts and instead focusing on what matters: keeping yourself safe and healthy.

You have worked hard to achieve sobriety, so keep yourself grounded by reminding yourself why it’s important for your health today and tomorrow.

3. Learn to Say “No”

While you want to return to normalcy, the real world is anything but normal. Learn to say “no” to activities, places, and people that trigger you. Focus on accepting invitations that promote sobriety and help you find your new self in sobriety. 

4. Focus on New (Healthier) Habits

Like you learned in rehab or throughout your recovery journey, healthier habits are the core of sobriety. Try to start with small healthy habits like eating a wholesome breakfast, exercising 30 minutes a day, or going for a walk every other day. These small habits will help you stay focused on your physical and mental health as you navigate those early sobriety days. 

5. Stay Busy with (Sober) Family and Friends

Speaking of sobriety days, you need a plan. You’ll also need to actively work on finding healthy ways to fill your time when cravings hit or when boredom sets in. It’s important that as soon as these feelings arrive or arise, instead of turning to drugs or alcohol for relief, you reach out for help. Contact friends or family members who understand what you’re going through so they can provide support if needed.

6. Get Involved in Activities That Promote Sobriety

Likewise, you want to participate in activities that promote sobriety. For example, instead of accepting an invitation to a bar, try to visit a museum, zoo, park, or another place where alcohol or drugs aren’t expected. Volunteering opportunities are great activities to focus on sobriety. Not to mention, gratitude and giving back to your community will give you a newfound sense of belonging that can help you stay sober in the long run. 

7. Don’t Dwell in the Past

Remember how grateful you should be for your sobriety. It’s easy to forget how good life can be when faced with addiction and its consequences every day, but taking a moment now and then to recognize just how far you’ve come is an important part of staying sober for the long haul.

8. Join a Support Group and Find a Sponsor

Attending support meetings and staying in touch with your sponsor are key to living a sober lifestyle. Even after completing the 12-Steps, attending support group meetings can be an incredible resource to enjoy sober living. These meetings are an excellent reminder as to why you started your recovery journey in the first place. And, remember, you can always call your sponsor whenever you feel you’re falling off track. 

9. Focus on the Positives of Sobriety

Whenever you feel lost in your recovery journey, focus on the real-life positives of sobriety. For example, after being sober, you can see your family, hold a job, remember your children’s recitals, connect with your partner, and so on. Every so often, sit down for a few minutes and write down how being sober has changed your life. Remembering these things will help you stay strong in your sobriety journey. 

10. Consider Joining an Aftercare Program 

If you feel you’re not ready to give sober living a try by yourself, consider an aftercare program. Many rehab centers offer aftercare recovery programs as an extension of rehab. These programs offer structure and reliability as you connect with others in early sobriety in a somewhat flexible environment designed to help you find your place in sobriety. 

How Do You Live a Sober Lifestyle?

Being sober is a lengthy process, and it takes hard work.  It may take months or even years to get sober and keep yourself that way. Understanding this before beginning your recovery journey is important so that you don’t feel hopeless, frustrated, or defeated when things don’t go as planned. Nonetheless, if you’re ready to live your sober lifestyle to its fullest, here are some tips to help you get started. 

1. Surround Yourself With Positive Influences

Living a sober lifestyle is all about finding the right support. Whether it’s your partner, parents, siblings, or friends – you need someone who will be there for you. You need to surround yourself with people that bring positivity into your life. It might sometimes feel selfish, but stay away from people constantly involved in drama or challenges that get you down. 

2. Stay Focused On Sobriety

You may be experiencing a multitude of new emotions and sensations right now. It can be challenging to feel so many different things at once, especially when your emotions are heightened by alcohol withdrawal. The key to staying sober is not dwelling on these feelings or thoughts and instead focusing on what matters: keeping yourself safe and healthy.

You have worked hard to achieve sobriety, so keep yourself grounded by reminding yourself why it’s important for your health today and tomorrow.

3. Learn to Say “No”

While you want to return to normalcy, the real world is anything but normal. Learn to say “no” to activities, places, and people that trigger you. Focus on accepting invitations that promote sobriety and help you find your new self in sobriety. 

4. Focus on New (Healthier) Habits

Like you learned in rehab or throughout your recovery journey, healthier habits are the core of sobriety. Try to start with small healthy habits like eating a wholesome breakfast, exercising 30 minutes a day, or going for a walk every other day. These small habits will help you stay focused on your physical and mental health as you navigate those early sobriety days. 

5. Stay Busy with (Sober) Family and Friends

Speaking of sobriety days, you need a plan. You’ll also need to actively work on finding healthy ways to fill your time when cravings hit or when boredom sets in. It’s important that as soon as these feelings arrive or arise, instead of turning to drugs or alcohol for relief, you reach out for help. Contact friends or family members who understand what you’re going through so they can provide support if needed.

6. Get Involved in Activities That Promote Sobriety

Likewise, you want to participate in activities that promote sobriety. For example, instead of accepting an invitation to a bar, try to visit a museum, zoo, park, or another place where alcohol or drugs aren’t expected. Volunteering opportunities are great activities to focus on sobriety. Not to mention, gratitude and giving back to your community will give you a newfound sense of belonging that can help you stay sober in the long run. 

7. Don’t Dwell in the Past

Remember how grateful you should be for your sobriety. It’s easy to forget how good life can be when faced with addiction and its consequences every day, but taking a moment now and then to recognize just how far you’ve come is an important part of staying sober for the long haul.

8. Join a Support Group and Find a Sponsor

Attending support meetings and staying in touch with your sponsor are key to living a sober lifestyle. Even after completing the 12-Steps, attending support group meetings can be an incredible resource to enjoy sober living. These meetings are an excellent reminder as to why you started your recovery journey in the first place. And, remember, you can always call your sponsor whenever you feel you’re falling off track. 

9. Focus on the Positives of Sobriety

Whenever you feel lost in your recovery journey, focus on the real-life positives of sobriety. For example, after being sober, you can see your family, hold a job, remember your children’s recitals, connect with your partner, and so on. Every so often, sit down for a few minutes and write down how being sober has changed your life. Remembering these things will help you stay strong in your sobriety journey. 

10. Consider Joining an Aftercare Program 

If you feel you’re not ready to give sober living a try by yourself, consider an aftercare program. Many rehab centers offer aftercare recovery programs as an extension of rehab. These programs offer structure and reliability as you connect with others in early sobriety in a somewhat flexible environment designed to help you find your place in sobriety. 

Can a recovering alcoholic ever drink again–even just occasionally? Not according to Alcoholics Anonymous. The AA philosophy is that the only way to overcome alcoholism is through complete and total sobriety, the rationale being that someone who had a dysfunctional relationship with drinking could never have a normal relationship with this habit afterward. 

This can seem a pretty black-and-white view of alcohol addiction recovery, but scientifically, it does have some merit. Addiction can permanently rewire our brains and bodies, an occurrence that’s known as epigenetics, that can forever change how our brain reacts to alcohol and other drugs, our stress threshold, and more.  

So is the idea that ‘once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic’ true or not? We answer this once and for all. 

The Epigenetics of Alcoholism

Alcohol may be legal, but it’s a very powerful drug. It’s so powerful that it can permanently rewire our brains and alter how our genes express themselves, even after addiction treatment. These changes can make us more susceptible to addictive behaviors such as lowered stress threshold (more easily upset), a greater inclination to use drugs and alcohol to cope, and heightened susceptibility to becoming addicted to alcohol or other substances.   

So in a way, alcoholism can linger in the brain and body forever. Even a person who’s been sober for decades may still have an increased sensitivity (and therefore, risk) to alcohol, stress, and substance abuse. 

If there’s a will, there’s a way

If you consider how alcoholism (or addiction itself) feeds itself in a cycle of ever-continuing biological and social feedback, you’d recognize how remarkable it is that anyone ever manages to get sober, even if it’s just for a short period of time. Addiction is a scarily efficient disease that thoroughly takes over our bodies, yet just treating the physical symptoms of addiction doesn’t do much for long-term recovery. It’s like putting a bandaid on a sinking ship. 

That’s why even though alcoholism is a medical condition, you can’t undermine the power of willpower. In fact, one of the best indicators of whether a person will successfully complete addiction treatment is motivation. Having a genuine desire to get better can be enough to break the scarily efficient cycle of addiction. Simply wanting to be sober can be a major factor for success.

Addiction is as much psychological as it is physiological–and alcohol is very effective at hijacking our brains and how they operate. That’s why any real shot at getting sober will likely require some sort of counseling or therapy and it’s such an integral part of most alcohol addiction treatment programs.  The same reason why wanting to be sober is so important is why It’s also 

A believer in the idea that a recovered alcoholic should never drink again might point to the common experience known as relapsing. A relapse is when a person abandons the attempt to stay sober after a period of abstinence. It can be a frustrating experience for the person in recovery and their loved ones that feels like it’s a setback at best, failure at worst. 

Not only is this not the case (that relapse is failure) but relapse is totally normal and a part of the recovery journey. Why? Alcoholism is a medical disease like that of diabetes, asthma, or cancer–not a moral failing or a lack of willpower. And like those diseases, there can be up to a 70% chance of relapsing. You would never tell a cancer patient it’s their fault their cancer came back, would you?

Once an alcoholic is always an alcoholic: True or False?

While it’s true that alcoholism can have lingering effects that can make a person more susceptible to falling into bad habits, it doesn’t mean they’re incapable of making lasting change. We don’t like the phrase “Once an alcoholic is always an alcoholic” because it minimizes that people can grow, mature, and change for the better.

Ultimately, whether a recovering alcoholic can ever drink again is a personal decision that only they can determine for themselves. Some people may find that they’re okay with having the occasional sip of beer or wine without losing control. Others may not be or are unwilling to risk it and find out by trying. 

Neither sentiment is more correct than another. The most important thing to keep in mind for a recovered alcoholic considering drinking again is to consider their motivations for wanting to do so and make sure they have support nearby in case things go awry. 

If you or a loved one is struggling with alcoholism, you can find help from others who’ve been in your very shoes. Find an Alcoholics Anonymous group near you today.  

Life is full of rules, and so too is the road to sobriety. But the story of the 61 rules of aa (and the origin of rule 62), is a great reminder that sometimes departing from a bunch of rules and the simple approach is best. Here’s the story of how Alcoholics Anonymous came close to having over five dozen rules, and what we can learn from the fact that it didn’t come to pass. 

The 61 Rules of AA

The Alcoholics Anonymous 12 and 12, also known as the book of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, tells a story about the early history of the AA organization (in the chapter about the Fourth Tradition).  A local group had gotten permission to create an elaborate treatment center and community. They determined that there needed to be rules about how this entity would function and operate and devised 61 of them. Unable to come to an agreement amongst themselves, the group sent their list of 61 rules to the New York office of Alcoholics Anonymous for the final say. 

The office, which was run by volunteers of current and past AA members, had no experience or idea of how to run such an entity. After discussing the 61 rules that were sent to them, they came up with the profoundly wise saying: ‘Don’t take yourself too damn seriously”. There you have rule 62 of AA’s origin.

What Does Rule 62 Mean?

It’s easy to get caught up in our lives and our current goals. Even one as important and necessary as getting sober, however, can cause us to get wrapped up in ourselves and what we’re pursuing. Rule 62 is meant to remind us to stay humble and help us keep perspective. Neither is it about belittling the effort it takes to overcome alcoholism.

The reminder to not take ourselves too seriously makes it easier to view our setbacks and mistakes in a kinder light. Having a more lighthearted view of the recovery journey gives us more room to err and also encourages us to be kinder to ourselves in light of ourselves. We’re going to make mistakes (and that’s okay!) and to expect anything else means we’re holding ourselves to an unrealistic standard.  

Another meaning of the rule is to recognize that life can still be enjoyable and pleasurable without alcohol. The weight of addiction hanging over your head can make things seem ‘doom and gloom’ and it can be hard to picture your life in the after stage of addiction. Not taking yourself too seriously also means giving yourself permission to look for joy and fun, to laugh at yourself, and to appreciate the little things, even while in pursuit of something as important as sobriety.  

How to Not Take Yourself Too Seriously

Here are five ways to lighten up during your alcohol addiction recovery journey:

1. Make new friends. Finding people that you have things in common with and whose presence you enjoy can be a great reminder that you are not an island and that you can still relate to others (and have a good time doing it!). 
2. Attend fun events. Sure, going to AA meetings is a great thing, but you shouldn’t forget about events that cater to other interests or that would allow you to meet people that aren’t in recovery. These events will help to remind you that you are more than just “in recovery” and can reignite your passion for the future.
3. Laugh at yourself. The ultimate sign of humility is the ability to laugh at yourself. Being able to find the humor in past, possibly unpleasant, circumstances means that you’ve grown and moved on enough that you can view it with a light heart.

What are the Rules of AA?

Alcoholics Anonymous doesn’t really have rules, nor is there an AA rule book. AA recognizes that there’s no one way to go about sobriety. Instead, AA has the 12 Steps, the 12 Traditions, the 12 Prayers, and over a hundred AA slogans which are used to guide members through their alcohol addiction and into recovery. Members are encouraged to use all of these resources as best serves them, which could include mixing and matching. 

However, that’s not to say that there’s no structure at all. It’s highly recommended that participants work through the 12 Steps in order, even if they feel stuck on it. The Big Book and other AA literature provide plenty of guidance on the best way to think about alcoholism and recovery and to make progress. And remember that AA doesn’t have a strict ‘my way or the highway’ approach with rules that members must abide by.

Want to learn more about AA? Find an Alcoholics Anonymous group near you today. 

Drug addiction is an all-encompassing disease that can take over our brains, causing us to do, say, and think things we normally never would, and can lead us to forget who we were before drugs. Depending on how long a person has struggled with substance abuse, they might have started believing that who they are intoxicated is who they are and always have been. 

So while we’ve all heard of a drunk personality, which is the way you act when you’re intoxicated, what about a sober personality? Let’s look at just how much drugs or alcohol can change how we act–if at all–and why sober you will always be the best version of yourself.  

Can drugs change your personality?

Yes, drugs and alcohol can alter your personality. Being under the influence can make you a little more outgoing, a little flirtier, or possibly more aggressive in the short term. A significant reason is that drugs can affect the brain in a way that lowers inhibitions slows reaction time, and interferes with general cognitive function. 

However, those differences in personality might not be as major as you might think. The main reason for any significant difference in personality is not because of the drugs themselves, but socially, many people find intoxication as an excuse to engage in behavior they know would otherwise be inappropriate or acceptable. 

Then there is the influence that media has on our perceptions of how to act while under the influence. Seeing intoxication modeled through pop culture can also shape how we think we’re supposed to behave. 

What is a sober personality?

A sober personality is simply who you are when you are not under the influence of drugs; your default state of being. For those who have struggled with substance abuse for a long time, the idea of who they are while sober can leave them with a bit of an identity crisis. Odds are that you’ll find that your personality “changes” (since the differences between you when you are intoxicated and your normal self are mostly perceived) for the better.

5 ways how to be sober

Now that we have convinced you that you do not have to be scared about who you turn into if you no longer drink or do drugs, let’s talk about ways to be sober. First, let’s tackle the hulking elephant of a question: what does it mean to be sober? The definition of sobriety is simply abstaining from indulging in a mind-altering substance.  

1. Know your triggers: Understanding why you drink or use drugs is one of the best ways to set yourself up for success when getting sober. Do you use them recreationally so that you feel more comfortable in social situations? Or perhaps to cope with the stressors of home life? Once you’ve identified these things, you can start to develop alternative plans for dealing with them that don’t involve drugs.
2. Ditch your old ways: Your environment and the people you hang around can influence your behavior–including drug use. Avoid people, places, or situations that you associated with using drugs. By taking yourself out of those situations, you lower the chance that you could be tempted into a bad decision or doing something simply because it’s familiar and comfortable. 
3. Find a support network: Addiction can be an isolating experience, that’s why one of the cornerstones to doing so is to surround yourself with people who will encourage you and–most importantly–keep you on track if you falter. These are people who will check in on you, try to keep you occupied and motivate you when you feel discouraged. Your support group can include people who have been through addiction or those who haven’t. All that matters is that they have your best interests at heart and want to see you succeed.
4. Start exercising. Getting physical can do wonders for your body and mind. Exercising releases endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, all of which boost your mood and help you to replace drugs or alcohol as the main source of things that make you feel good. Exercising also offers the benefits of improving your sleep cycle, the basis of a balanced lifestyle upon which better decisions can be made. 

If you or a loved one wants to get sober but isn’t sure where to start, you can find support from your peers at Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Join one for free and hear from others who have been in your shoes. Find a meeting near you today.