Tyler F., Author at Find Recovery

Addiction & Divorce: 4 Major Reason Why Drug Use Ruins Marriages

Relationships are work, as any couple can tell you. When real life hits—kids, money troubles, changing jobs, the loss of a loved one—even marriages find that ‘til death do us part’ can become strained very quickly. One of the most common reasons for divorce is an occurrence whose consequential dysfunction few couples overcome: It corrodes trust, causes breakdowns in communication, and can be a constant source of toxic conflict. It’s not an extramarital affair, but actually, the relationship-ruining destruction caused by substance abuse and addiction.

4 Reasons Why Addictions Often Lead To Divorce

Even the most stable and seemingly healthy relationships can be susceptible to a rift under the right conditions. Unsurprisingly, addiction is the perfect storm that can cause all sorts of ‘last straw’ marital conflict. Here are the top reasons for divorces ranked from highest to least common, and how addiction can lead to them.

1. Lack of commitment

It takes two to tango, and unless both partners are fully dedicated to making their marriage work, the relationship can be impossible to sustain. Addiction, as many of us know first-hand, is a far-reaching disease that can impact the user’s friends, family, and the greater community as well. When an addict chooses to continue to use drugs (or refuse to get help) at the cost of hurting their loved ones, that’s a pretty big indicator that they’re more committed to satisfying an immediate craving rather than what’s best for their partner and family. On the other hand, addiction can push the non-using partner away and deteriorate their motivation to continue the relationship.

2. Infidelity

Both short and long-term drug use can seriously interfere with decision-making skills. That’s why individuals with drug addiction are at a higher risk of engaging in risky behaviors such as cheating or having unsafe sex. As a monogamous society, cheating is the ultimate relationship deal-breaker that can irreparably damage the trust between two people. Study participants who cited infidelity as the cause of their divorce reported that conflicts and communication problems happened more frequently, and were much more intense. Further, when those issues came up, the couples often found themselves unable to resolve the issue “calmly”.

3. Constant arguing

It’s normal for couples to have disagreements, in fact, they can help strengthen the relationship. There is a point when bickering becomes unhealthy, and when it happens, things can get toxic fast. It’s not simply a matter of how much you’re arguing, but the manner in which those arguments are being resolved—if at all.

Drug use is one of those things that can both be the source of conflict, and also affect how those arguments occur. Normally, each person will express themselves, hear the other person, and then determine how to respond accordingly. However, due to the nature of how drugs work, there is a drastic rewiring of the brain that can impair cognition, memory, and mood regulation—all the mental processes needed to have a rational, and productive discussion.

4. Financial problems

Money makes the world go round, and apparently, relationships as well. It’s a common trend that divorce rates spike in times of economic hardship, but it’s not just about the bottom line. Money insecurity can cause stress and anxiety, be a blow to self-esteem, and manifest itself as anger. When someone loses a job or incurs a large, unexpected expense like medical bills it can make individuals worry about how to make ends meet. That psychological strain can spell doom for a romantic relationship, with the underlying stress causing increased irritability and greater opportunity for fighting.

Drug use is not a cheap habit and can put marriages in financially dire straits. It’s not uncommon to hear about a spouse draining a joint bank account to fund their addiction. Treating addiction can be extremely costly as well, costing tens of thousands of dollars depending on the type of rehab and the treatment program.

Overcoming Addiction As A Family

Addiction is one of the three most common reasons why marriages end (and it’s often one of the strongest predictors of whether a married couple will get divorced), however, it’s probably not for the reasons you think. Although substance abuse itself is a big issue with a capital ‘B’, it’s the different, indirect ways that drug abuse alters relationship dynamics that are the most harmful.

However, that’s not to say that being married to an addict is guaranteed to fail. As long as both partners are motivated and willing to make positive changes, the relationship can still survive. If you’re not sure where to begin, peer-based groups offer a low-stakes, non-committal option for both the addicted person and their spouse to get perspective and learn what the recovery process might entail.

For the addicted person, groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous can be an important first step in recognizing that they have a problem. For the spouse, Al-Anon is a group that was created specifically to support the loved ones of an addict and provides an opportunity to hear how others dealt with the relationship to a drug user. No marriage is beyond repair as long as both spouses are committed to overcoming addiction and doing it together.

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/

How 12 Step Programs Help Overcome Treatment Barriers

Addiction treatment can be life-saving, both in the figurative and literal sense. It can put a stop to the compulsive drug use that destroys marriages and other important relationships, makes it impossible to hold a job, and leaves your finances in tatters. The behavioral and medical interventions of treatment can give your body a much-needed break from the ongoing abuse, preventing often fatal conditions such as cirrhosis, kidney failure, or cancer that would otherwise shave years off your lifespan. Yet despite how universally beneficial (and in many cases, desperately needed) drug rehab can be, many who struggle with addiction struggle even more with taking that leap and enrolling in treatment.

An Epidemic Within An Epidemic

According to the most recent data from SAMHSA’s annual substance abuse survey, in 2019 there were 21 million people who needed substance abuse treatment but little more than 4 million individuals sought or received treatment. These drastic numbers beg the question: Why do so many drug users fail to get help?

The reasons why so few individuals ever step foot into some sort of substance abuse treatment facility are as varied and multifaceted as the reasons why people use drugs in the first place. Some of these barriers to treatment are fairly obvious and understandable. Rehab can be costly in terms of time and money and a logistical nightmare that requires arranging for childcare, time off work, and transportation. These factors can be incredibly discouraging and no doubt contributed to why only 1% of those who recognized that they need treatment actually made an effort to seek it out.

The theme of the other main group of objections is a bit more shocking. A significant number of treatment barriers can be attributed to a simple lack of willingness. The vast majority of individuals with a substance abuse disorder either fail to recognize that they have a drug use problem (in 2019, 95.7% of individuals felt that they did not need treatment) or are reluctant to attend for fear of judgment from friends and family.

How 12 Step Programs Help Overcome Treatment Barriers

Twelve step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous and the dozens upon dozens of similarly structured groups modeled after it are uniquely positioned to help bridge the gap between treatment barriers. Narcotics Anonymous, Dual Diagnosis Anonymous, Al-Anon, and the like are peer-based groups that offer a low-stakes means for treatment-hesitant individuals to get a peek at what life on the other side is like.

In 2019 these self-help groups were the most common source of substance abuse treatment amongst Americans aged 12 and older.

Substance abuse treatment locations SAMHSA Chart — Figure 66. Chart from the 2019 Key Substance Use and Mental Health Indicators in the United States Survey

This is far from coincidence. There are a number of crucial factors that have led to 12 step programs being an attractive option to those who aren’t ready to commit to formal treatment at a specialty facility, these are the four biggest ones:

1. They’re Free

Arguably the largest barrier to receiving treatment is paying for it and is where 12 step programs shine. The majority of these types of recovery groups are free to attend, and many of the organizations that host these programs are often non-profits. That means there are never any fees to participate in Alcoholics Anonymous, whether you’re an established group member or otherwise.

2. They’re Confidential

Privacy is cited as another major concern by those who are reluctant to seek drug treatment. Many individuals express deep discomfort at the thought of being made to speak in front of others or being asked personal questions.

At 12 step meetings, there are no such obligations and you can instead simply listen to others. Should you choose to share, there is a strict emphasis on confidentiality to the degree that any admissions to crimes or other tales of questionable legality are safe to speak of without risk of persecution. Groups like AA also ensure your privacy is protected by purposefully prohibiting signup sheets or any other trace of your attendance, and welcoming the use of aliases to avoid using your real name.

3. There’s No Commitment

The thought of being away from home, from loved ones, the workplace, or in many cases, drugs, can be a major source of anxiety. As such, the thought of enrolling in rehab, which would likely involve restrictions on where you can go, who you can see, and access to drugs, is largely avoided. Twelve step programs, however, have no such commitments. These peer-based groups are structured around a walk-in policy where participants are welcome to come and go as they please, as frequently or infrequently as suits them.

4. They’re Everywhere

No matter how accommodating (or free) these programs might be, they won’t do much good if they’re difficult to access. Fortunately, peer-based groups also excel at accessibility, with many of these organizations having thousands of chapters all over the world. There are plenty of directories available to find nearby AA and other meetings, as well as online-hosted meetings that can circumvent any transportation challenges.

Taking Small Steps Towards Recovery

The nature of how 12 step programs are structured bypasses many of the most commonly cited reasons for avoiding treatment including financial limitations, time restrictions, and accessibility. More importantly, they do so in a manner that is minimally disruptive to the individual’s current lifestyle, promises anonymity, and requires zero commitment.

If you or a loved one is hesitant about making the leap, joining AA, NA, or other targeted substance abuse self-help group can help you find the motivation to eventually move on to formal treatment. And this isn’t an endeavor that addicted persons have to go through alone. These meetings are open to all, both drug users and non-drug users. They are the epitome of safe spaces that allow you to pursue recovery at your own pace and on your own terms.

The 9 Most Common Addictions | Latest Addiction Numbers

Addiction is a lot more prevalent than most of us realize. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics, 60% of the U.S. population has abused drugs within a given year—that’s 165 million Americans! Of those millions, over a quarter of those illicit drug users end up developing a substance use disorder. The question is: which drugs are driving these startling addiction rates? The answer might surprise you.

A few of the major contributors to U.S. drug addiction rates are the substances you would expect, but others are certain to be a shock. In many cases, some of the leading types of addiction aren’t necessarily the most popular drugs, but rather the ones that are the most potent with a mechanism that’s more conducive to the biological process of addiction. Join us as we explore the 10 most common addictions in the United States, including legal and illegal substances.

The 9 Most Common Types of Drug Addiction

Nicotine – 58 million

This legal drug isn’t just one of the most widely used around the world, it’s also one of the most addictive drugs of all time. In the U.S. alone, there are over 58 million tobacco users. Approximately 25% of users have had some form of tobacco dependency at some point in their lives. Even more alarming, is that tobacco is the leading cause of preventable death in the county. It’s directly attributable to more than 480,000 deaths every year, or about 1 in 5.

According to a study done regarding nicotine intake quantities, 5 milligrams a day can result in addiction. The average cigarette, however, has 10-12 milligrams of nicotine! Nicotine is quickly absorbed by the body and goes from the lungs to the brain in a matter of seconds.

Alcohol – 14.8 million

No surprise with this one. Alcohol is one of the most widely consumed beverages on the planet. A common presence in American culture, alcohol abuse such as binge drinking and heavy drinking are common and have been normalized to such a degree that individuals don’t realize they’re drinking beyond healthy levels. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are the most prolific of treatment options, and whose popularity has given way to dozens of similarly structured organizations that assist with other specific niches of drug addiction.

Marijuana – 4.4 million

It’s not a secret that marijuana is a popular drug (in fact, it’s the most commonly used illicit drug by Americans, 43.5 people). However, what makes its number two spot so surprising is that marijuana addiction is considered to be rather uncommon. The way marijuana works, it naturally carries less risk of causing the compulsive behavior that characterizes addiction. However, it can contribute to long-term cognitive impairment, and therefore can still interfere with daily life and responsibilities enough to be considered a disorder.

Prescription Pain Killers – 1.7. million

In the midst of the third wave of the United State’s opioid crisis, the epidemic use of both legal and illegal opioids has gripped the nation in its deadliest drug epidemic in history. Prescription painkillers have been a driving force behind this latest surge of drug use and are the second most commonly used illicit drug in the country.

In many instances, addiction to a prescription drug is accidental; a person with a legitimate need is prescribed opiates for too long or for too strong a dosage. The result? Millions of well-intentioned Americans accidentally end up with a dependency on these painkillers, which often ends up being a gateway into harder drugs such as narcotics.

Methamphetamine – 1.1 million

This drug has garnered national attention for several years now for being one of the most addictive and devastating of drugs. According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse, about two million Americans use meth, and about half of all users are addicted. Rates of meth overdose have surged across over the past decade and account for 15% of all drug-related deaths. Although typically a stimulant, methamphetamine addiction has been measured and recorded separately by the National Survey on Drugs Use and Health in 2015.

Cocaine – 977,000

Most people think of cocaine as a party drug that’s only used on occasion. While use is not as widespread as some other drugs, this powerful substance can get people hooked after only a couple of uses. And while opioids may currently have the nation’s attention, rates of death caused by cocaine have risen sharply by an average of 27% per year in a 5-year period.

Prescription Sedatives – 751,000

As their name implies, prescription sedatives are primarily used to treat anxiety and panic disorders as well as serving as a sleep aid. These medications are made up of two classes of drugs: barbiturates and benzodiazepines. Both are central nervous depressants that effectively relax the brain by slowing down the messaging, however, barbiturates have largely been replaced by benzodiazepines as being a safer and less addictive alternative. Unfortunately, benzo abuse has still become rampant. Popular sedative medications you’ve likely heard of include Xanax, Valium, and Lunesta.

Heroin – 526,000

Heroin has a much smaller pool of users compared to other opioids. However, what it lacks in the sheer volume of users it makes up for is addictiveness. This potent drug has the potential to cause addiction after a single use, and is one of the leading causes of opioid-related overdoses and deaths, in the United States. In most reporting, heroin is grouped with the general opioid category.

Prescription Stimulants – 561,000

These types of medications are primarily used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and narcolepsy. As their name might suggest, these drugs can increase feelings of alertness, energy, and focus. Adderall is one of the most well-known prescription stimulants, and also one of the most notorious. Other common prescription stimulants include Ritalin and Concerta.

It’s not often that stimulant abuse results in addiction. However, instances of overdose and dependence are far more frequent.

Getting Help For Common and Uncommon Addictions

No matter what substance you’re addicted to, going to a drug and alcohol rehab can help. These specialized facilities are experts who use a combination of medical treatment (detox and pharmacology) and behavior therapy to break addiction’s physical and psychological bond. They can help individuals identify the source of their drug use, providing invaluable insight into triggers and avoidance strategies.

For those who aren’t ready to take the plunge of formal addiction treatment, 12 step-based groups can be both effective and less intimidating. Alcoholics Anonymous is the most well-known of these groups, however, other options cater to specific types of drug addiction. Narcotics Anonymous will likely be the most encompassing addiction to hard drugs. Fashioned after AA, Narcotic Anonymous meetings offer a minimally disruptive treatment option that uses peer relationships to encourage others to stop using.

Source: https://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/cbhsq-reports/NSDUHNationalFindingsReport2018/NSDUHNationalFindingsReport2018.pdf

The Difference Between Detox vs Rehab

Even as knowledge and acceptance of addiction treatment have become more widespread, exactly how the process works is still one shrouded with fallacies and misconceptions. ‘Detox’ and ‘rehab’ are two of the most commonly used terms of addiction treatment jargon –and perhaps the most misunderstood. In this article, we’ll go beyond the difference between detox and rehab and get into the nitty-gritty of when these steps occur, how they complement each other, and what you can expect from each.

What Is Detox?

There’s a very good chance that even if you had never touched a single drug in your life, you would’ve heard this term. Detox, short for detoxification, is the act of purging the body of toxic substances. One of the reasons there is so much confusion around the term is that it has become co-opted by the wellness movement. It has since been adopted into the mainstream and its mention evokes thoughts of questionable green juices, liquid diets, and stock photos of women smiling while holding various types of produce. While the efficacy of these types of “cleanses” is dubious at best, the principle behind them is similar to that of a drug or alcohol detox.

In the scope of drug addiction treatment, detox is a medical procedure. Medicine and other equipment are used to facilitate the removal of substances from the body. Because drugs can severely alter brain chemistry, the resulting removal can cause unpleasant, and sometimes life-threatening, side effects are known as withdrawal. For this reason, drug and alcohol detoxes are almost always conducted in a clinical setting, with constant monitoring from medical personnel.

In certain cases, detox programs will incorporate holistic therapies such as yoga, meditation, or massage. Medication can also be used to assist with the psychological effects of withdrawal as well.

What Is Rehab?

The shortened version of the word is commonplace. While the use of the word is still related to its original context, it’s turned the act of rehabilitation into a place, a location, a destination. As such, the term can hold a lot of mystery and is why detox and rehab are often seen as different types of treatment, rather than different aspects of overall recovery.

Rehabilitation can be necessitated by things other than drug use, such as physical injury or disease treatment. In the case of drug addiction, rehabilitation is a process of restoring individuals both physically and mentally, enabling them to once again function normally within society. This is done primarily by addressing the psychological aspect of addiction, although medical treatment can be involved in this stage as well.

Long-term, chronic substance use can literally rewire the brain which makes it difficult for individuals to function in its absence. This results in the compulsive behavior that defines addiction and can make it impossible for someone to kick this habit on their own. Rehab is able to help deprogram the addict’s mind by providing a controlled environment designed to be free of triggers or other negative influences. Rehab is not just a safe space for drug addicts to get clean, but a personalized curriculum of therapy, counseling, and treatment.

Detox vs. Rehab: What Are the Differences?

Detox and rehab are two sides of the same coin. The primary difference between the two is that medical detox focuses on the first days and weeks of recovery while rehab focuses on long-term recovery. Because of their different focuses, there are a number of key differences between the two–here are the biggest ones:

Which Comes First?

Medical detox is the first step of the recovery process. Most, if not all, addiction treatment centers will require patients to have undergone detox. It is only when all traces of the drug have been removed from the body can it re-learn to function without it. Detox, however, can be done independently of rehab and does not require individuals to be enrolled in a drug rehab program. Keep in mind that although it is not required, simply going to detox is not enough to overcome addiction. Individuals are still just as likely to continue abusing drugs if the root of this behavior is not corrected.

Length of Treatment

Medical detox is the shorter of the two, typically lasting a few days to a week. The exact timeframe can vary depending on the substance and the severity of addiction, among other factors. Drug addiction rehab is much longer, with treatment ranging from 30 days to a full year. As is the case with detox, how long treatment will take will vary based on the individual. The National Institute on Drug Abuse recommends seeking treatment for a minimum of 90 days.

Inpatient vs. Outpatient

Both detox and rehab are available as either inpatient or outpatient programs. Naturally, inpatient programs are much more intense but can warrant the most effective results. Outpatient is typically used for those with minor addictions. Both options are readily available for drug rehab, but less so for detoxification. Outpatient detoxification is less common, mainly because it lacks the support of going through withdrawal that the usual “detox” provides. This arrangement allows clients to go to treatment during the day but resides at their own residence at night.

Finding The Right Addiction Treatment Program For You

Both detox and rehab are essential aspects of overcoming drug addiction. While many think of it as detox vs rehab, the truth is that these are merely different stages of the same process. Neither is a marker of guaranteed success but is an important step in the right direction. Have patience in the process, and bear in mind that it may take a couple of tries for sobriety to stick. To give yourself the best odds, it’s important to do your research and find the best rehab for you–and it might not be the one that’s closest.

How To Stage An Intervention

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. But getting to that stage can be a challenge all on its own. In many instances, those who are addicted are the last to realize that their substance abuse has gone from a recreational vice to destructive. Interventions are an attempt to confront those individuals about their detrimental behavior. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. The key to increasing the likelihood of your loved one’s success is knowing how to stage an intervention.

Preparing For The Intervention

Interventions are typically arranged by friends or family members but can be done by anyone who has a relationship with the addicted person. These people will serve as the core group of organizers, the intervention team, and should arrange everything from who else is involved to getting the addicted person at the chosen date and time. It is highly recommended to get help from a professional interventionist, who can help ensure that both the planning and the execution of the intervention go smoothly.

Choosing The Type of Intervention

Perhaps the most important aspect of an intervention is deciding what kind of intervention it will be. Most tend to think of the kinds involving a gathering of people who are surprising the addicted person in confrontation. While this is a viable and popular option, it isn’t the only one.

The intervention approach that’s used will determine who is involved, how the topic is broached, and how the recipient of the intervention will be included in the proceedings.

Classic Intervention: A group of people, can be small or large in size, surprise the addicted person with a surprise confrontation.

Simple Intervention: A single person directly addresses the addiction person in a one-on-one approach.

Family System Intervention: When other family members who struggle with the same addiction appeal to the individual to get help and are also heavily involved in the treatment process.

Crisis Intervention: Often impromptu; these occur when the addicted person has become a danger to themselves and concerned loved ones need to stabilize the situation.

Deciding on the Time & Place of the Intervention

This seemingly straightforward aspect of planning an intervention also requires thoughtfulness and care. In addition to finding a time that works for all parties involved, it’s important to choose a time and place that will be the least stressful for the addicted person. This means being mindful of their schedule and what they might have going on. Do they have a stressful job? Don’t confront them immediately after coming home from work. Perhaps they’ve recently undergone a breakup or were involved in a car accident. Also, don’t have an intervention at a time they’re likely to be intoxicated. If they are at the time of the confrontation, it’s in everyone’s best interest to wait until they’ve sobered up.

Rehearse

No matter what kind of intervention, addressing someone’s drug use can be a touchy subject. Emotions will run high and things can quickly spiral out of control. Conduct a run-through of the intervention so that everyone will know when to speak, what they will say, and be in agreement on the expectations of what they want from the addicted person.

During The Intervention

When it comes time to follow through with the intervention, the best way to maximize the odds of a successful outcome is to come prepared. Participants should have rehearsed what they will say and what they want from the addicted person. These conversations should detail how addiction has hurt their relationship with specific examples.

Avoid Accusations

Focus on how addiction has negatively affected your relationship or their lives. Accusations will only make someone defensive and closed off to you. Avoid labels like “addict” or “junkie” which can further alienate the person you are trying to help.

Stick To The Script

Convincing the addicted person that their drug use has become detrimental to themselves and others will likely involve recounting details of previous issues and encounters. There is plenty of opportunity for emotions to arise from either party; the speaker, with frustration; the addicted person, with denial or outrage. For this reason, it’s recommended that those who will be speaking have their statements written down.

Propose Solutions

Confronting the person and convincing them that their addiction is out of hand is only part of an intervention’s purpose. The ultimate goal is to convince them to seek treatment and get help. As such, it’s crucial to do research about medical detox, rehab programs, or 12 step programs. Be clear in your expectations and include practical information on how you’ll be able to support them to make it happen. The more details you provide, the less room there will be for protest. Look into all the details from payment to logistics to what they could expect.

Set Consequences (and Stick To Them)

If you truly want to convince the addicted person that you are committed to their recovery, you can’t go back on your word. Whether you threaten to stop supporting them financially, cutting them off, or some other means that you may have been enabling them, everyone present must commit to the consequences the addicted person will face if they refuse help.

What If An Intervention Doesn’t Work?

Drug addiction literally rewires the brain and can turn your loved one into an irrational, impulsive person. It’s a very real possibility that an intervention may not be enough to get to them and that it may take several attempts.

While the goal is to get them into a treatment center, peer-based social groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer a lower-stakes option that the addicted person may feel less resistance towards. There, individuals won’t be required to be abstinent–the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Hear the testimonies and triumphs of others who were in similar situations can be a powerful motivating factor, which itself is a major determinant of addiction recovery success.

Offering to attend meetings with them is an easy way to keep them accountable and offer support. To get started, find AA meetings or NA meetings near you.

What to Expect in the First Month of Alcohol Rehab

So you’ve made it through the first week of alcohol rehab. Likely, those first seven days were tough–perhaps even some of the toughest you will experience during treatment. But with the physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal mostly subsided, the mental aspect of your recovery journey can truly begin. You now are on track to accomplish another major milestone: the first 30 days of treatment. Curious as to what this next stage has in store for you? Here’s what to expect in the first month of alcohol rehab:

How You’ll Feel

The first few days of rehab are usually the hardest. Not just because you are dealing with the last legs of withdrawal symptoms, but because of the sudden restrictions on who you can see, where you can go, and your access to the outside world. Change is stressful, and the blackout period that most rehab facilities enforce for the first days can put you lightyears away from your comfort zone.

After surviving a few days of zero contact with the outside world, having those stringent rules lifted can immediately make the rest of your time seem much easier to bear. Hopefully, you are now feeling more comfortable, less unsure, and, with the physical discomfort of alcohol withdrawal nearly over, much more in control.

By the end of your first month in rehab, you should experience a noticeable improvement in your sleep, mental clarity, and physical well-being. Cravings might persist, but they’re not nearly as strong as they used to be. In this stage, you might experience unpleasant feelings such as:

Irritability and mood swings
Fatigue
Anxiety

This first month is certainly challenging for both body and mind and you might still feel a long way from “normal”. Just keep in mind that these side effects are temporary and will eventually subside.

The Transition from Physical to Psychological

With the distraction of physical pain mostly gone, you will move on from managing your symptoms to counseling and therapy. It is here in the realm of psychological healing and growth that your treatment will address long-standing issues that contribute to your addiction. Some of which being the very ones that caused you to turn to alcohol in the first place. This is easily the biggest difference between the first week and the first month of alcohol rehab.

The first few days of therapy most likely centered around getting you to understand the scope of your addiction, address any feelings of denial, consider how it’s negatively impacted your life, and ultimately, motivate you to want to get sober. Another major aspect of these sessions will be to break down the walls of isolation that alcoholism can put up. Peer-based sessions add a social element that drives home the message: you are not alone. Your rehab curriculum will be a mixture of all of these types of sessions to give you the best of all worlds.

What Happens In Therapy?

Overcoming addiction is a lifelong journey that never really ends. One of the cornerstones of rehab is giving patients the tools to succeed long after they’ve left the facility. The key to doing this is uncovering what makes you tick and giving you the means to recognize and overcome your destructive tendencies. The first 30 days of rehab mark the beginning of this important introspection. Once in group and individual counseling and therapy sessions, you will focus on topics such as:

Identifying your triggers (people, places, or situations that cause you to drink)
Understanding behavior patterns
Developing healthier coping mechanisms

Depending on the length of your alcohol rehab treatment, your curriculum might also include practical educational sessions that can give you skills to reenter the workforce or society as a whole. Holistic therapy options might be made available to you, to give you non-traditional means of working through your past, learning about yourself, or finding positive new hobbies to provide structure and motivation. Although medically assisted treatment (MAT) may still be occurring during the first month, the emphasis of the next few weeks will focus heavily on learning more about yourself.

30 Days of Alcohol Rehab: Done–What Next?

Once you’ve successfully made it through your first month of alcohol rehab, you’ll have laid the groundwork for the rest of a successful future. You’ve learned the value of having structure and a defined schedule, the difference that a proper night’s rest can make, and most importantly, that alcoholism is something you had, not who you are. On top of the lessons you are currently learning, you will continue to learn about proper nutrition, physical fitness, and other pragmatic life knowledge that can help restore body, mind, and soul.

Navigating your new life and outlook is bound to be rocky, so don’t shy away from feelings of discomfort or the occasional setback. The next few months will be pivotal to your success, and it is then that you might finally begin to feel like yourself again.

While we hope this guide of what to expect in the first month of alcohol rehab was helpful, the best way to get a feel of what rehab will be like is to ask the facility directly. You can find thousands of drug and alcohol rehabs near you, many of which have personnel dedicated to walking you through the experience and process so that there are no unpleasant surprises.

What to Expect in the First Week of Alcohol Rehab

Enrolling in an alcohol rehab center is a major step that can help an alcoholic regaining control over their life. Unfortunately, it’s also one that alcoholics regularly shy away from. Getting clean will come at the cost of your comfort zone–something people are reluctant to give up even in the best of circumstances. It’s quite normal to have reservations about going to an addiction treatment center. But knowing what you’re in for can go a long way towards alleviating your fears and finally convince you to take the plunge. Here’s an honest look at what to expect in the first week of alcohol rehab; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The First Week at Rehab: An Almost Universal Experience

An alcohol rehab program can last anywhere from a few weeks to several months. Regardless of how long your treatment is, however (the National Institute on Drug Abuse recommends at least 90 days), virtually all types of substance abuse addiction programs begin the same way. Keep in mind that there are a lot of treatment facilities out there (over 14,000 in the U.S. alone) and naturally, there’s bound to be variations on how those facilities operate.

The Check-In Process

Once you have arrived on-site, a number of things will take place. First, will be paperwork and other administrative tasks, similar to that of going to a doctor’s office. Keep in mind that you may need to provide ID and your insurance card. Many alcohol rehabs use the first day to allow new patients to get acquainted with the facility and to settle in. Others aim to get you included in the action and will encourage you to participate in a group therapy session.

You’ll likely know how things work well before you take your first step inside the facility. You’ll know about the housing situation, whether food is provided, how visitation works, if communication to the outside world is restricted, and so on. Their goal is to make you feel as comfortable as possible while in recovery. That involves not springing surprises on you at the last minute.

If you have enrolled in an inpatient alcohol treatment program, the exact timing of when you are shown to your room can vary greatly between facilities. However, you can rest assured that you will be given a thorough tour of the facilities, as well as the rules (like “lights out at 10”), the policy for breaking rules, along with any expectations. Be forewarned that your belongings may be searched to ensure that you don’t have anything that could cause harm to you or your fellow patients such as drugs, alcohol, weapons, or any other items marked as prohibited.

Medical Examinations

The first day of your arrival will also typically include a number of assessments. Don’t worry, these aren’t tests you’ll need to study for. These are simply questionnaires and interviews meant to give a better idea of your mental and emotional state. This is a crucial aspect of treatment as it’s what your personalized treatment plan will be built around. Be prepared to answer questions such as:

How long have you been a heavy drinker?
How much and how often do you drink?
What caused you to start drinking?
Does alcoholism run in your family?

It’s of the utmost importance to be completely honest so that the facility can properly gauge the scope of your addiction. Trying to downplay your addiction only does you, your loved ones, and your hard-earned dollars, a disservice.

Medical examinations are often conducted in this initial intake stage to get an idea of your physical health as well. You’ll receive a screening of things like your temperature and blood pressure (think: a routine doctor’s visit), and be asked if you are on any medications. The examinations can also include more in-depth testing such as blood tests to check liver and kidney health, hepatitis, or other diseases.

Depending on whether a facility offers alcohol detox or not, they may require a drug screening prior to commencing the program to confirm that you have alcohol and any other drugs, out of your system.

Alcohol Detox

If you have enrolled at an alcohol rehab that includes a detox program, you will likely spend the majority of your first week of alcohol rehab in this stage. Here, you will be monitored to ensure you don’t experience any life-threatening complications as you get alcohol out of your system. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms should subside by day 7, but depending on the severity of your addiction, can take even longer.

Many facilities employ random drug testing to ensure a patient is complying with policy. Failing a drug test or breaking rules can result in disciplinary action, removal from the program, or even a complete ban on returning.

Daily Schedule: Getting Into A Routine

Once you’ve gotten settled, you will usually begin your personalized plan the next day (Alert for the night owls: rehab activities tend to start early). You’ll have a daily schedule provided to you which will include things such as:

Individual therapy
Group therapy
12 Step meetings
Alternative therapy
Group discussions
Free time
Meals
Physical fitness workout

Evening tends to be much more flexible, allowing patients time for recreational activities. Some facilities even allow patients to go off-site (usually to get food) or prepare their own evening meals. What you can do in your “off-time” can vary greatly depending on the individual treatment center.

Therapy

There are dozens of different types of therapy modalities out there (including holistic therapy), some of which you may have the freedom to try, like picking your electives in school. However, cognitive behavioral therapy is a guarantee. In the first week of alcohol rehab, CBT will aim to uncover why you began drinking in the first place and what your triggers might be. Later on in your recovery journey, cognitive behavioral therapy may have a focus on relapse prevention.

Limited External Communication

In most cases, inpatient facilities restrict external communication in some shape and form, and particularly so in the early stages of treatment. Upon entering a program, you will likely have to give up your phone and other electronics. Most clients are allowed to make a call on the first day, but may not be able to do so regularly (at least, during the first week) or for an extended period of time. The purpose is not to make you feel isolated from loved ones, but to encourage that you focus on recovery.

However, you won’t be completely cut off from the world. Facilities often encourage family participation so you may get a visit from your family during that first week.

Ready To Find An Alcohol Rehab?

New situations can be daunting, especially the ones involving a major lifestyle, identity, and mentality overhaul. Your chronic drinking habit has likely become such a part of you that the majority of your thoughts and schedule revolves around it. Alcohol, and being intoxicated, have become your comfort zone and the thought of changing that can be scary. But ask anyone who’s gone to alcohol rehab and they’ll tell you that the benefits of kicking a chronic drinking habit far outweigh the temporary discomfort you’ll experience from a drink. If you’re ready to join them and make the first step towards beating your alcohol addiction, this handy drug and alcohol rehab directory can help you get started.

Alcoholics Anonymous: Working Step 12

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Although this is the final step of Alcoholics Anonymous, your journey is far from over. In Step 12 participants are urged to carry on the message of AA as well as to honestly live its principles each and every day. In this guide to working step 12, you’ll learn what a “spiritual awakening” is, how to avoid the trap of complacency and the right ways to help other alcoholics.

What Is a Spiritual Awakening?

Whether you are religious or not, the twelve steps are a journey based on your acceptance and development of your spirituality. In each step, you were faced with a different focus that challenged you to grow in a certain part of yourself: learning humility, understanding personal responsibility, developing a desire to be your best self. It is this newfound spirituality that has enabled you to look inward and open yourself up to change and makes you excited to continue to change.

The original text describes a spiritual awakening as a new state of consciousness where you can do, feel, and believe what you previously couldn’t on your own. It could be hope, that you deserve love, or that you would ever break alcohol’s hold on you. It is both a mental and emotional transformation that has made you more resilient to life’s hardships. This doesn’t mean you no longer have flaws and shortcomings, but that you can address and fix them where before Alcoholics Anonymous you did not.

Avoiding Complacency: What Is Two Stepping?

Many of those who have completed the last step in Alcoholics Anonymous will say how satisfying it is–understandable, as it required jumping through numerous emotional hurdles to get to this point. For some, this satisfaction comes from having their personal, professional, social, and romantic relationships greatly improved. While these are all wonderful positives, they are superficial victories that can prevent these individuals from growing further.

This is a fairly commonplace occurrence, so much so that it has a term associated with it called “two-stepping”. This occurs when an individual who is still involved in AA doesn’t feel it necessary to go through all the 12 steps again. It might be for the reasons listed above or not, but either way, there is such a sense of self-satisfaction that they only do a select few of the steps. Two-stepping refers to doing only the first and twelfth step of Alcoholics Anonymous. This highly erroneous way of thinking is dangerous because it can prevent you from growing further.

Working Step 12: Carrying the AA Message To Other Alcoholics

The majority of the text about Step 12 is essentially a recap of all that you’ve learned and emphasizes the importance of living the principles of AA in your everyday life. The actionable part of this step is quite well-known: spreading the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to others who need help.

There are multiple ways to do this: speaking at meetings, convincing other alcoholics to attend meetings, and sponsoring others. However, speaking to or in front of others isn’t the only way to spread the message (you’re welcome, introverts). It can mean taking more of a backstage role that helps keep your local AA chapter functioning or keeping the meetings running smoothly. This can mean booking venues, setting up seating, or even managing the refreshments. Ultimately, carrying the message is about supporting the organization and those within it.

But, we are humans, and sometimes pride or other messy emotions can get in the way of our good intentions. Here are a few things not to do when attempting to carry the message:

Don’t get discouraged if the people you try to help end up relapsing or reject your advice
Don’t be overeager to share your advice; you might inadvertently lead someone down a path that was right for you but not for them
Don’t take a leadership position before you feel ready for it

Alcoholics Anonymous: Working Step 11

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Nearing the end of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-Steps program we are now fully in future-mode and preparing ourselves to cement the positive changes we have undergone thus far. At first glance this step might seem quite passive, simply encouraging participants to pray and meditate to obtain “knowledge of His will”. Working Step 11 is unexpectedly multi-faceted, however. In addition to explaining the different objectives that meditation and prayer are meant to accomplish, this step highlights the importance of having the right mindset in your approach. Otherwise, your prayer and meditation could backfire, leading to recovery-impeding pitfalls.

What If I’m Not Religious?

Naturally, this step can seem quite challenging–or even impossible–for someone who is non-religious. Outwardly, completing this step seems to be almost entirely dependent on the acknowledgment of a formal God figure. However, as is the case with previous steps that have had a religious tone, you are encouraged to apply your own interpretation of God. Further, the fundamental principles of step eleven can still apply in non-religious reflection.

The Objective of Prayer & Meditation

Step 11 seems rather straightforward, but it is not as simple as meditation and prayer for the sake of getting something off your chest or strengthening your relationship with your higher power. The intention of prayer and meditation within the 12 Steps is to move away from worldly concerns and to realize our ideal selves. In the original text, this is referred to as the “spiritual objective” which serves as a goal to keep us on a positive track. Prayer and meditation are intended to help discover what this is for each individual.

The Difference Between Prayer and Meditation

These distinctions might not be relevant to secular individuals, but for those who are religious, it is helpful to understand the difference between these two acts. Step 11 denotes the unique intent and function of each type of spiritual outreach. Prayer is when one actively asks things of God (or your higher power). Meditation, on the other hand, is exploratory and introspective which is where our ideal selves (a.k.a. “spiritual objective”) are first envisioned.

Working Step 11: The Goal of Prayer

The biggest takeaway of this step isn’t to simply encourage regular participation in spiritual reflection. Step 11 provides a helpful guide and highlights the importance of going into these activities with a proper mindset. The initial instinct might be to reach out to a higher power seeking guidance on specific issues (i.e. What to do about a fight with your sibling) or to ask for specific things (i.e. Cure your friend diagnosed with cancer). This does virtually nothing for your personal growth. Instead, think big picture: Ask for qualities or traits (ex. understanding, patience, or compassion) that will help you live according to the principles of AA and will empower you to resolve your issues yourself.

Let’s use the above example about a person praying for help regarding a fight with their sibling. Rather than hoping for a resolution to be handed to them, it would much more constructive to ask for greater empathy (to better understand why she’s upset), grace (which might prevent future flaring of tempers, thus preventing arguments from occurring in the future), or perhaps even humility so that a person can apologize quickly and prevent disagreements from escalating in the first place.

Another danger of turning to prayer for help with micro-level problems is that you may unconsciously use it to rationalize your own wishful thinking. No matter how well-intentioned you may be, this “guidance” can be very self-serving. It can actually push you away from the Alcoholics Anonymous path. This is why step eleven emphasizes “will” and “knowledge”. Otherwise, the act of prayer and meditation would be little more than going through motions.

Alcoholics Anonymous: Working Step 10

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

We first took inventory of ourselves in Step 4, but self-improvement isn’t just a one-and-done deal. Working Step 10 pushes us to do this on a daily basis. Remember: Recovery is a life-long journey that continues long after you have worked all twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is an ongoing process where, in order to grow, you must continuously shed your old self. The only way this can happen is through constant and continuous self-reflection. But this still begs the question: how does continued personal inventory help you stay sober?

Why Step 10 Matters

Step 10 is significant in that it’s the first one concerned with future behavior rather than analyzing past actions. It encourages ongoing personal inventory and self-assessment in order to continue the progress you’ve made thus far. If this step were to be summed up in a single word it would be ‘maintenance’. However, making self-examination a daily habit isn’t just for the benefit of practicing mindfulness. This works like a daily spot check. It can help you identify specific points in your day where you may have struggled (or excelled) in applying the principles of AA teachings.

To put it simply, step 10 is all about control–specifically, control over one’s reactions. Think back to how your alcoholism habit started. You may have turned to drink because of a reaction to some sort of stressor (a bad day at work, an argument with a loved one, feeling depressed)–this was a lack of control over your emotional outlets. Then, when you drank, you did so in such excess that it interfered with the foundations of your daily life–another display of a lack of control. Fortunately, this is an ability that can be developed and improved upon. Steps 1-9 gave you the foundation to do so, now it’s up to you to put it into practice.

The Importance of Self-Restraint

One of the highlights in the Step 10 text is an emphasis on self-restraint- but what is it exactly? Self-restraint is not:

Repressing negative emotions (like anger, jealousy, frustration, or sadness)
Feeling bad or guilty about having negative emotions
Denial of your feelings
Removing yourself from situations that might incur these feelings

Self-restraint is the cognitive ability to regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors regardless of the situation. Just as with any other type of skill, it can be learned, but it’s not something that simply develops overnight. Exercising self-restraint in your smaller daily interactions will better prepare you when bigger issues arise–major stressors that might otherwise tempt you to relapse. You won’t always have control over where you’re at, who you’re around, or what happens to you, which is why earning (and practicing) self-restraint is key to maintaining sobriety.

Tips For Working Step 10

Being mindful and continuously rehashing your immediate behavior can give you valuable insight into your triggers, recognizing your response patterns, and recognizing the consequences of your responses. This means taking a moment to stop and analyze whenever you find yourself in an emotionally-charged situation:

How does this make me feel?
Why do I feel this way?
What would happen if I gave into my instinctual reaction and would it fix/improve the situation?

The other half of this is looking at how you did end up responding to a situation. Did you do it in a way that you would look back on and feel proud of? If not, do you think that the person or situation deserved the reaction you gave? Part of self-restraint means always striving to hold yourself to a higher standard even when someone else doesn’t (see: Step 9).

Try to practice this self-reflection both in the moment and at the end of each day. Over time, this skill will become second nature, giving you ultimate control over yourself.