“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
Step 3 is ultimately about changing the trajectory of one’s life through surrender. Both the word choice and concept of this can be difficult to swallow – even the original text acknowledges the difficulty and that it can seem impossible to fulfill. However, the text also states that this step is one of the most crucial in order to find lasting success with both Alcoholics Anonymous and the remainder of the 12 steps program, making it crucial that working step 3 is done in sincerity.
A Guide to Step 3 of Alcoholics Anonymous
Step 3 is inherently more challenging than the two previous ones because it is the first time being prompted to take action. Steps 1 and 2 were about mental preparation: accepting that healing is needed along with external help. Next is to turn words into action and to make a deeper commitment to the program and in turn, your own recovery.
Use of the word “decision” is very meaningful as the concept of willingness is an integral part of moving forward in the recovery process. Because while you may find yourself in an AA group meeting against your will, it’s only your own willingness that can bring you to seek real and lasting change. Step 3 marks the first of many active and thoughtfully-made decisions to come.
The significance of self-will
Step 3 challenges us to “let go” so that we are no longer operating solely based on our own self-will. The concept (also referred to as human will or free will) has strong cultural implications and is closely tied to our personal identities. For that reason, the concept of relinquishing that control is one that is quite foreign to us – especially to AA beginners – and can be difficult to grapple with.
However, this urging to “turn our will” over is not said to eliminate our sense of self or our individuality. Self-will is fraught with ego, bias, and selfishness. It tends to dominate our thoughts and actions and can lead us astray. Forgoing self-will and instead, following a new path that is laid for us via a “higher power” that has our best interests at heart, is far more likely to lead us to recovery.
Working Step 3 if You’re Not Religious
For those who aren’t religious, the mention of ‘God’ can be uncomfortable and a major roadblock to connecting with this statement. However, the original author of the 12 Steps of Recovery wanted the program to be accessible by all and purposely included the phrase “as we understood Him”. Once again, the use of the capitalized ‘h’ in “Him” would appear to be another reference to the standard Christian concept of God. However, it is meant to modify the prior mention of God, and encourage individual interpretation.
This higher power can simply be a general sense of spirituality or even another person. In many interpretations, participants have determined their AA groups as their higher power. Regardless of how or who you choose to rely on, faith is a major component to successfully working Step 3.
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