Millions of people in the United States experience substance abuse every year, but significantly fewer people get the help they need with addiction rehab. The ones fortunate enough to go through rehab greatly benefit from having a solid support system, and family visits are one of the best ways to support a loved one during recovery.
When you visit family members in rehab, you provide emotional support and encouragement while gaining a deeper understanding of how they feel and how their recovery is progressing. However, if your loved one is in an inpatient facility, you may find many rules related to visits, all created to benefit patients.
Let’s explore how family visits work in addiction rehab and what you can do to ensure your visits contribute to your loved one’s recovery as much as possible.
Standard Visitation Policies and Guidelines
When visiting a loved one in rehab, the first thing to know is that inpatient rehab facilities have different rules. That means you should familiarize yourself with your loved one’s specific facility’s rules before visiting. You can usually access this information on the facility’s website.
Many of these policies and guidelines have a lot in common. Since they’re all created with your loved one’s comfort and recovery in mind, you will see some common patterns among them, including the following:
- Visits are not allowed during the initial detox period. Many rehab centers do not allow visits or phone calls during the initial detoxification process. That’s because detox is a critical time for your loved one to focus on withdrawal recovery without external distractions. Even if your loved one doesn’t go through detox, there may be a period where visits are forbidden to help acclimate to their new routine. Some recovery centers allow letters as long as their content aids in recovery.
- Visitor vetting. Many rehab centers conduct a vetting process for visitors to ensure they support the patient’s sobriety. This might include drug testing or other forms of screening.
- Pre-visit screenings. Once visitors clear the vetting process, they must undergo a mandatory pre-visit screening each time. This screening ensures visitors don’t bring prohibited items like drugs, alcohol, or sharp objects.
- Patient consent trumps everything. Your loved one’s consent is crucial for every visit to be a positive experience contributing to recovery. Depending on their personality or stage of treatment, they may prefer to avoid having visitors at specific times.
- Visiting hours. After the detox phase, facilities often allow visits during specific hours, in a particular room, on certain days of the week, and for a specified amount of time.
- No food during visits. Many facilities prohibit bringing food during visits.
- Smoking rules. Some facilities might prohibit smoking or limit it to designated areas.
- Family therapy sessions. Many rehab facilities incorporate family therapy as part of the treatment process, providing a structured environment where family visits are a tool that directly supports your loved one’s recovery.
- Clergy visits. If your loved one practices a religion, the facility may allow a clergy member to visit them as a “compassionate care” visit.
Each facility has its specific policies, so it’s always good to check directly with the rehab center for their guidelines on family visits, whether via their website or by contacting them. The goal is for your visit to be the most positive experience possible for your loved one, aiding them in long-term recovery.
Dos and Don’ts During Rehab Visits
While every rehabilitation center has its rules, they have many things in common. While these policies may sound strict at times, remember that they exist to help patients ease their minds and focus on recovery.
With that in mind, these are the main things to remember when visiting a loved one in recovery. Here’s what you generally should and shouldn’t do when visiting a loved one in substance abuse rehab.
Dos
- Follow the facility’s rules and visitation guidelines. Every facility and rehabilitation center has different protocols for how visitations should go. Some require you to stay in a particular space and always have staff nearby to monitor the patient, for example. Speak with the staff for a full explanation and follow the rules.
- Be supportive. Recovering from a substance use disorder is incredibly difficult. It places mental and physical strain on the patient and more than likely has caused a lot of suffering by the point they begin their rehabilitation. Encourage their efforts and applaud their progress, no matter how small it seems.
- Respect your loved one’s routine. A predictable routine is essential to recovery, so visitations are usually limited to specific days and times. Do your best to follow this schedule, and if you can’t show up, inform the staff and your loved one that you won’t be there at the agreed-upon time to avoid any confusion or disappointment.
- Keep the conversation light. As difficult as it sounds, try to keep the conversation away from the heavy topics surrounding recovery. At this stage of recovery, such talk should happen in a safe and controlled environment. Find other topics to discuss to avoid stressing yourself and the patient.
- Bring them items from home. Familiar items, like blankets, clothes, or family photos, can help patients feel more at home, making their recovery easy. Speak with the staff first to learn what items are allowed.
- Get to know the staff. Familiarize yourself with the staff to better understand who’s helping your loved one recover.
Don’ts
- Talk about triggering subjects. Avoid talking about past events or the patient’s substance abuse as much as possible. Complex subjects like these can cause undue stress and hinder their recovery.
- Start arguments. Substance use disorders indeed create problems not just for the person experiencing it but also for those closest to them. However, bringing negative and volatile emotions into a visit during recovery is counterproductive. For your loved one’s sake and peace of mind, do your best to stay calm and level-headed.
- Smoke outside of designated areas. Some facilities may have smoking areas or forbid tobacco in the entire building. Make sure you know the rules beforehand.
- Talk about money. Recovery is often an expensive endeavor, between treatment, financial problems caused by addiction, and the inability to keep a job while staying at a rehab center. Avoid bringing up money troubles or the financial strain of supporting their treatment to the patient – it will only cause feelings of guilt and make it harder for them to focus on getting better.
- Bring alcohol or drugs to the facility. This is one rule you will find in every reputable rehabilitation center – do not bring the patient any substances, and don’t consume them yourself while in the facility.
Communication Tips and Strategies
Effective communication is critical in helping a loved one recover. Here are some strategies that can help make interactions more effective and supportive:
- Try to put yourself in their shoes. Recognize the challenges your loved one is facing. Even when progress seems slow going, remain supportive of their efforts.
- Give them your full attention. Be a good listener when they try to express themselves. Maintaining eye contact, nodding, and asking relevant questions are ways to practice active listening.
- Respect their boundaries. Likewise, set your own.
- Maintain contact. Maintain as much or as little contact as you’re both comfortable with.
- Keep an open mind. Always keep an open mind when approaching conflict, and don’t assume you have all the answers. This will help you find common ground and mutual understanding.
- Approach communication with respect. Avoid nagging, guilt trips, bribes, and other sabotaging conversations. Learn to recognize these negative communication patterns not just in yourself but also in your loved one.
Consider therapy and group sessions to practice effective communication. A neutral third party, such as a therapist, can help bridge gaps in understanding and fix strained relationships.
Alternative Ways to Offer Support When You Can’t Visit
Whether it is because your loved one is going through the detox period because you’ve already visited them the maximum amount of times allowed this week, due to geographical distance, or any other reason, not being able to see them can be an emotionally challenging experience for both.
In those cases, it’s important to remember that recovery is multi-factored. As a result, there are many ways to offer support other than your physical presence. These are some of the alternatives you should consider.
- Phone calls and video chats. Many rehab centers may allow phone calls or video chats in addition to visits. This can be a great way to stay in touch and offer emotional support.
- Writing letters or emails. Sending letters or emails can be a personal and thoughtful way to communicate. It gives your loved one something tangible to hold onto and re-read when they need encouragement. As mentioned, keep in mind that letters may need to go through an inspection to prevent smuggling and ensure their content is appropriate for recovery.
- Care packages. Care packages with items like books, journals, or personal care products can be a comforting reminder of your emotional and material support. Keep in mind that food is generally prohibited.
- Attending family therapy sessions. While you can see family therapy sessions as visits, they play a structured role in recovery, so you should go into them with the mindset of adhering to the psychotherapy techniques provided by the counselor.
- Educating yourself about addiction. Learning about addiction and the factors that may have led to your loved one’s substance abuse can help you understand what they’re going through and how best to support them.
- Support groups for family members of people with addiction. Joining a support group for families of those in addiction treatment can be helpful. Groups like Al-Anon provide non-professional support that can help you gain insight from others’ experiences and even more alternative ways to support your loved one.
- Post-rehab planning. As your loved one gets closer to completing the rehab program, you should plan to create a supportive home environment for when they return. You can work with the rehab facility or your loved one’s counselor to create a personalized plan for them.
- Texting. Regular, encouraging text messages can help your loved one feel connected and supported.
- Be positive. Keeping a positive outlook will influence how you interact with your loved one and behave when away from them, resulting in more consistent support for your loved one.
- Financial support. If you are in a position to do so, help your loved one financially as they navigate recovery. You must be careful not to become a financial enabler or sacrifice your finances too much. Still, your financial support can also push them to set up a long-term recovery environment.
Everything you do counts as long as it benefits your loved one. Remember this whenever you feel like your inability to visit them is harming their recovery.
Supporting Your Loved One During Their Recovery
Recovery doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Everyone needs support, and the rehabilitation process involves more than reducing your loved one’s dependency on substances – it also means learning to function again without drugs or alcohol and mending strained relationships. Consider it a form of healing for your loved one and yourself, and know that your support is a crucial factor.
If you want to be more involved in the process, speak with the staff at the facility your loved one is staying in. They’ll likely be able to share many resources with you, point you toward support groups, or set up family therapy sessions.
