Category: Alcoholics Anonymous

For nearly a century, the 12 steps of AA have served as a foundation for recovering alcoholics. These dozen tenants have guided thousands through stages of admittance, self-awareness, gratitude, and forgiveness. But knowing the 12 steps is only part of the journey towards sobriety. To truly have these nuggets of wisdom be useful (and ultimately, living a sober and happy life) it’s crucial to understand how to work these steps and apply them to your everyday life. This easy and practical list of tips for working the 12 steps of AA will get you through it.

How To: Tips for Working the 12 Steps of AA

1. Be self-motivated. Let’s clear one thing up: No one is going to follow up on you to make sure you’re giving each step its consideration and taking the lessons to heart. Not your sponsor, not chapter leadership, not other members. If you want to get anything out of the 12 steps, you’ll have to hold yourself accountable and really put in the effort. If you’re just going through the motions or doing it for someone else’s sake, you’re wasting your time and cheating yourself of what could be a very enriching experience. 
2. Take your time and go at your own pace. How long it takes to work all 12 steps is completely unique to the individual. The lessons of some steps will come naturally to you. Others may be more challenging and take days, or even weeks, to fully comprehend and put into practice. This is perfectly okay. Rushing through them for the sake of “finishing” benefits no one–especially yourself. There is no deadline as to when a person has to have completed all 12 Steps and most will tell you it’s a lifelong journey that’s never truly done. 
3. Abstaining from alcohol or drugs doesn’t mean you’re recovered. So you haven’t had a drop of alcohol in weeks, months, years. While technically you are sober, the 12 Steps is about much more than abstaining from drugs or alcohol. It’s about acknowledging the personal flaws that have led to this point and learning from them. Reckoning with your past as an addicted person, and using that as your motivation to remain abstinent. Don’t abandon the 12 steps midway through (or even worse, stop attending meetings), or else you risk missing out on the insights to stay sober when times get hard. 
4. Complete the steps in order. Being stuck on a step can be frustrating. If you aren’t making the progress you would like, you may be tempted to move on and proceed to the other steps—the end goal is the same, right? The beauty of the 12 step program is that each step builds upon the other in a very deliberate progression. You might miss out on a valuable perspective required to properly work through those later steps you’re rushing towards. 
5. Don’t be intimidated by religious references. If you’re agnostic, atheist, or uncomfortable openly discussing your faith, or anything in between, this tip is for you. Many individuals in recovery are put off or intimidated by the 12 Steps because of their frequent religious references. Bear in mind that Alcoholics Anonymous started as a Christian organization. It’s to be expected then, that those texts will carry some sort of religious mention. Do not feel that being a Christian–or any religion, is necessary to participate in AA. To better serve modern society, many AA groups have adopted a modified agnostic version of the 12 Steps that omits mentions of God and instead, calls on participants to apply their own spiritual interpretations.
6. Prepare to be uncomfortable at times. There’s no sugar-coating it. The 12 steps push us to look inwards with sometimes brutally honest self-reflection. While many describe the feeling of completing these exercises as being freeing and exhilarating, in the moment, it can be disconcerting having to think about the not-so-great things we said, did, or thought, while under the control of drugs. For this reason it’s also very helpful to keep in mind that the purpose of the 12 steps is not to make you feel bad, penitent, or regretful. Growing as people requires coming to terms with ourselves and coming clean about the good, bad, and ugly of our past. 

Keep these tips in mind as you work through the 12 steps. Whether it’s your first time doing them, or your 100th, remembering these fundamentals will put you in the right frame of mind for getting the most out of these tried-and-true lessons. Find a 12 Step group meeting near you to begin your healing journey today.

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Those who have been through the 12 steps of AA know that sponsors can play a vital role in a recovering alcoholic or addict’s sobriety. Having a sponsor is one of those things people instantly associate with a 12-step recovery program. The role of a sponsor is very helpful, especially for beginners. But, what exactly do AA sponsors do? And is there an alternative figure you can choose instead? Read on to learn about the role of the sponsor and its importance in your recovery journey. 

What is an AA Sponsor?

Sponsorship is a relationship in which one person, the sponsor, helps another person, the sponsee, work a recovery program from alcoholism. It’s also called a “sponsor-sponsee relationship.”

A sponsor is someone who’s been through the problems and frustrations of drinking themselves. They completed the 12 steps and found recovery, sharing what they’ve discovered with others. The goal is to grow together and work as accountable figures in each other’s lives. 

The sponsor’s role is to help the sponsee through the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is usually a long-term commitment and can be lifelong if both parties agree. A sponsor isn’t an instructor, adviser, or therapist, but rather a fellow addict who understands what it’s like to be caught in the grip of alcoholism and has risen above it by using the twelve steps. The sponsor has no professional qualifications for this role, meaning if the sponsee fails to take responsibility for themselves, it isn’t the sponsor’s fault. 

The AA Sponsorship Book

A sponsor is an AA member who has been sober for some time and is committed to helping another alcoholic by providing advice and support during their recovery. They are your support system in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (the “Big Book”).

While there isn’t an AA sponsorship book that guides people through the role, sponsors are encouraged to follow the traditions in the Big Book. They can bring their experiences to the table for the sake of saving yours and their sobriety. They can only do that by ensuring they’re helping you while also staying active in their recovery. 

How to Ask Someone to be Your AA Sponsor

Everyone needs different qualities from their sponsor. Some recovering addicts respond well to “tough love,” while others prefer more understanding. When looking for a sponsor, think about these qualities:

• Someone you can relate to
• They have the kind of life you want to achieve in recovery, meaning you look up to them
• They are honest and have integrity
• They’ve been sober and are willing to share their experience with others
• Someone with the time and disposition to be helpful and available

When you find that person, here are some ways to ask them to be your AA sponsor:

• Do you already have a sponsee? If so, how many?
• What motivated you to get sober?
• Do you have any expectations from me?
• Do you live far?
• What motivates you to be a sponsor?
• Would you do a trial sponsor-sponsee relationship to see if we’re a match?
• Would you like to be my AA sponsor? 

When to Get a Sponsor?

Getting a sponsor is encouraged from the very beginning. Some people get a sponsor early on in the hopes they can help them navigate the steps. Others wait until they complete the 12-steps to seek an accountability buddy to help them recover. In the end, there’s no right or wrong timeline for seeking a sponsor. Much like in rehab, every sobriety journey is unique. 

Get the Help You Need

Whether you’re starting your recovery journey or you’ve been sober for some time, an AA sponsor is a key figure in your journey. Continue to attend meetings even after completing the steps, stay in touch with your sponsor, and don’t lose track of your therapist. 

Recovery from addiction is a lifelong journey that involves your active commitment. Don’t hesitate to seek help or reach out for help whenever you feel you might relapse. And, even if you do relapse, remember that it isn’t a failure but a setback. With the right support, you’ll get back on track in no time. 

Sources:

https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship

Shame is an automatic emotion that responds to a sense of failure. It’s a feeling many struggling with substance use disorders know a bit too well. Over time, shame disconnects individuals from the world around them, and it’s one of the things that fuels the secrecy and isolation commonly associated with alcoholism. In fact, different studies show that people who experience shame tend to experience more drinking-related consequences. After all, the tendency to use alcohol to reduce negative emotions is a very common coping mechanism. 

What Exactly Is Toxic Shame?

Toxic shame is a feeling of hopelessness. It can arise from others’ negative emotions, making you feel useless or not as good as others. Unlike guilt, shame makes you believe you’re not enough – a feeling alcoholics can recognize. While we all experience shame at some point in our lives, shame becomes toxic when the feeling stays with us. Toxic shame can result in two responses:

• Withdrawal: You might feel inferior or not good enough to do something or be surrounded by others, so you want to withdraw and isolate yourself. 
• Anger: Because you’re experiencing pain, it’s easy to feel anger against others and sometimes even yourself, particularly if your shame comes from your alcohol use disorder.

To cope with toxic shame, people turn to substance abuse, eating disorders, and self-harm. These unhealthy coping mechanisms provide an escape from emotional pain or the inability to face your true self. Other people develop perfectionist behaviors and have unrealistic expectations to avoid feeling or being shamed again. 

The Connection Between Shame and Addiction

Lots of people who struggle with alcohol use disorder have experienced trauma or dysfunction in their lives. Growing up with toxic shame can cause people to develop skewed images of themselves that can easily motivate them to seek comfort in substances. 

Unfortunately, the connection between shame and addiction creates a vicious cycle that can be tough to break. Studies show that shame could follow when people experience failure to meet role expectations due to their drinking habits. For example, an alcoholic can get into a public argument or miss work after a day of binge drinking. Such events can result in shame and can fuel more drinking as a coping mechanism to detach from the feelings of shame. 

This vicious cycle exacerbates anxiety and depression that makes addiction even worse to manage. Similar studies have proved the connection between shame and addiction. One study found that students who perceived themselves as drinking more than their peers experienced shame after drinking. In turn, it also increased drinking over time. This study shows that shame can be a trigger and a consequence of excessive drinking, at least for some people. 

How to Deal With Toxic Shame

It’s possible to overcome shame and alcoholism. Many alcohol addiction treatment programs focus on addressing feelings of shame and guilt. It’s also a matter of practicing self-compassion, self-awareness, and having patience. Here are some tips to overcome shame:

• Become aware of how you talk to yourself and try not to react to it; write down your thoughts to help you become more self-aware of your sabotage.
• Practice mindfulness and medication to help you observe your thoughts and learn how to react to shame from a more positive environment. 
• Find support groups within the recovering alcoholics’ community to receive support and caring feedback about your recovery journey. 
• Consider starting a journal to help you express your feelings without letting them affect you directly. 
• Recognize when you’re feeling shame and consider a positive method of coping such as meditation, affirmations, or reaching out for help. 
• It might be worth it for toxic shame to talk to a trusted therapist who can help you unwind previous trauma that could contribute to your shame and alcohol use disorder. 

Overcoming Shame In Addiction Recovery

Toxic shame is a prevalent relapse trigger. People in addiction recovery often struggle with feelings of shame, and that can hinder their progress. You must remember we all experience shame, guilt, and self-doubt. If you’re struggling with shame, seek help and speak up. Individual counseling or group therapy with an addiction specialist can help you cope and manage shame in recovery. 

Both therapy modalities will give you a safe space to dive deep into your experiences to help you identify the source of your toxic shame. Through different healing methods, you can work alongside a therapist and peers to find new ways to control these unhealthy thoughts and eventually learn the mechanisms and skills to prevent a relapse episode. 

Being married to an alcoholic or even a recovering alcoholic can understandably lead to feelings of stress and hopelessness. When alcoholism and marriage coincide, a lot happens among both parties and the family. As you might know, alcohol use disorder affects the entire family and suddenly changes the family dynamics. When you’re married to someone with a substance use disorder, you might feel lost and scared about your relationship’s future. Keep reading to learn how to cope when you’re married to an alcoholic and how to be a supportive partner.

Alcoholism and Marriage

Someone with an alcohol use disorder makes drinking their priority, pushing other people and other things to the side. It’s common for marriages with alcoholic
partners to get into physical altercations, struggle with financial difficulties, and place strain on all family members.

Estimates believe between 10% to 45% of marriages in the United States are alcoholic marriages. Over time, researchers have studied the effects of alcoholism in marriage and found that:

• Alcoholics are by far less likely to marry than nonalcoholic
• Alcoholics who get married often either do so earlier or later than nonalcoholic
• Recovering alcoholics are likely to reduce their alcohol use once married
• Alcoholics are more likely to get divorced than nonalcoholic

Alcohol abuse can contribute to marital conflict, infidelity, domestic violence, unplanned pregnancy, and financial instability. Not to mention, it places a layer of stress and psychological strain that can be burdensome for anyone.

How Alcoholism Affects the Family Dynamics

Alcoholism can increase rates of divorce by at least 20%. It also increases irrational actions, including domestic abuse. Alcoholism in marriage can also cause significant distress, anger, resentment, dysfunctional communication, and mental health strain.

Today, about 1 in every 8 children grow up in a home where a parent or caregiver abuses drugs or alcohol. Being around alcoholism can also affect how children function later in life. In the short term, children may develop indifferent or demanding behaviors. Long-term, children who grew up in alcoholic marriages can develop PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Children of addicts are more likely to develop substance use disorders when they grow up. They’re also three times more likely to be neglected physically and sexually abused.

When there’s a family unit, alcoholism significantly changes the family dynamics. First of all, nonalcoholic spouses might often blame themselves or try to control the problem by themselves. These effects will trigger a chain of reactions that can place a significant burden on any marriage.

Another interesting result of alcoholism in marriage is the dynamic of the enabler. The enabler figure often appears in families with small children. As nonalcoholic partners want their children to live in a happy and safe environment, they’re likely to make excuses and cover up the evidence of alcoholism to make the problem disappear. However, in reality, they’re enabling the alcoholic’s behavior and patterns.

Codependency is another common effect of having an alcoholic marriage. Once a partner becomes an enabler, they can become co-alcoholics by helping their loved one with their alcohol abuse without noticing. Codependency treatment is also available in rehab and can be highly effective.

Top Books On Alcoholism and Marriage to Consider

For alcoholic marriages, there are many books on alcoholism and marriage that can be helpful. These are some popular books on alcoholic marriages to consider:

• The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
• Marriage On The Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and an Alcoholic
• Courage to Change: Personal Conversation About Alcoholism
• If You Loved Me, You’d Stop: What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much
• Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families

Can a Marriage Survive Alcoholism?

Many marriages do survive alcoholism. The first step is to seek help and consider having an intervention. With an intervention, your loved one can hopefully recognize their need for help. In this case, it’s always best to come prepared and already have a treatment center selected. Many rehab centers will work with you in organizing the intervention. The idea is to have everything ready in case the addict accepts help.

But addiction affects everyone in the family. Since alcoholism often strains relationships, it’s important to incorporate couples counseling and family therapy as part of the treatment. Seeking help for your loved one, for yourself, and your family is important.

It’s also important to note that you’re not supposed to save anyone from addiction – it’s not your role., if ultimately you have to consider divorce, don’t blame yourself. Seek help from support groups like Al-Anon family groups, or consider speaking to an addiction counselor to find the support you need to focus on your mental health as well.

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2700350/

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1985-04356-001

We have all been at the party where someone has drunk one too many glasses of alcohol and is now causing a scene. Unfortunately, heavy or excessive drinking has many more harmful consequences than simply ruining an evening. In order to discuss just how detrimental heavy drinking can be to your health and life, we must first talk about what heavy drinking actually is. 

What is Heavy Drinking?

It can be challenging to create a single definition of heavy drinking. Different organizations have provided various recommendations of what heavy drinking is considered to be. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) describes binge drinking as a consistent pattern of alcohol consumption that brings your blood alcohol level to 0.08 g/dl.

What is Heavy Drinking for a Woman Versus a Man?

Heavy drinking is also defined differently based on your sex (male/female). The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) described binge drinking as four or more alcoholic drinks in a single sitting for females. Additionally, heavy drinking is considered drinking five or more alcoholic beverages on a single occasion for males. 

While the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism and The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration’s definitions of binge drinking may seem different, they are actually speaking about a similar quantity of alcohol. It typically takes 4-5 alcoholic beverages to get your blood alcohol level to a 0.08 g/dl. 

Furthermore, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines “heavy drinking” as binge drinking at least five days in the past month. 

How Much is Too Much Alcohol Per Week? 

If you want to avoid drinking too much alcohol in a given week, you should follow the guidelines set aside for moderate or low-risk drinking by the  National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. They describe moderate or low-risk drinking as no more than seven drinks per week for women. For men, low or moderate-risk drinking is considered less than 14 drinks in a single week. 

Warning: There are certain individuals that should refrain from drinking any alcohol at all, including those who are:

• Pregnant or may be pregnant 
• Diagnosed with certain medical conditions
• Under 21 years old
• Recovering from Alcohol Use Disorder
• Taking certain over-the-counter or prescription medications that can negatively interact with alcohol
• Driving or planning to drive

Avoiding drinking alcohol if you fall into these categories can help you save both your own life and the lives of others around you.

Symptoms of Drinking Too Much Alcohol

Drinking too much alcohol can have significant harmful consequences both physically and mentally. Binge drinking can negatively affect almost every part of your body. You may experience the following symptoms while you are intoxicated:

• Poor judgment
• Slow reflexes
• Lower inhibitions
• Blackouts – not being able to remember things or events while you are intoxicated
• Difficulty with walking, talking, or standing
• Emotional or mood changes
• Dehydration
• Drowsiness
• Distracted sleeping
• Having to urinate more often

These symptoms can be dangerous for your safety, especially when mixed with one another. For example, an intoxicated person with impaired judgment is more likely to engage in risky behavior such as driving while intoxicated. Their vision and reflexes are also worse, so that combined with driving; they can easily lead to a car accident in which either they get hurt or hurt the other party. 

Long-Term Side Effects of Excessive Drinking

Indeed, 20 years of heavy drinking is much worse for you than a glass of wine or two now and then. Drinking excessively for a prolonged period of time will ultimately lead to the deterioration of both your mental and physical health. 

Possible Physical Health Consequences of Binge Drinking include: 

• Anemia 
• Increased risk of Cancer
• Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease
• Increased risk of Heart Disease
• Increased risk of Dementia
• Thinning of the bones
• Damage to your Central Nervous System – this can also lead to tingling, numbness, or pain in your hands and feet.
• Sexual Dysfunction
• Lung Infections
• Pancreatitis
• High Blood Pressure
• Shrinkage of the Frontal Lobes in Your Brain 
• Infertility

Binge Drinking can also cause serious mental health consequences such as:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Fatigue
• Mood swings
• Decrease in cognitive abilities 
• Aggression

Addiction:

One of the most severe consequences of heavy drinking is forming a dependency on alcohol, also known as an addiction. Becoming addicted to alcohol is incredibly dangerous as it will impact every single part of your life from your safety and daily functioning to your interpersonal relationships and your career.

How Much Drinking Will Make You an Alcoholic?

That is a difficult thing to answer since heavy drinking and alcoholism are not the same thing. Earlier, we defined what heavy drinking is. On the other hand, Alcoholism is classified as a substance use disorder that requires professional treatment in most cases. Many people might engage in heavy drinking but have not actually formed an addiction yet. However, heavy drinking does significantly increase your risk of developing alcohol addiction. 

Defining Alcohol Use Disorder

Alcohol Use Disorder, also known as Alcoholism, occurs when a person drinks so excessively that their body becomes dependent on alcohol. Alcohol becomes the most important thing in their life. Furthermore, their alcohol abuse might cause them to lose their job, destroy their relationships, and severely impact their emotional health. They know that their alcoholism is causing all these negative consequences, but simple awareness is not enough to make them stop drinking. The changes in their brain are so strong that they need their alcohol fix. This is why alcoholism is often treated with the help of a professional treatment center or therapist.

Do Not be Afraid to Seek Help! 

If you are worried about your heavy drinking or fear that you might be an alcoholic, we are here to help you! With the right resources and treatment options available, you can turn your life around for the better and overcome your addiction. 

Click here to learn more about Alcoholics Anonymous and how this program can help you overcome your drinking problem and regain control of your life! 

One of the biggest appeals of peer-based addiction recovery groups like Alcoholics Anonymous is the promise of anonymity in a judgment-free zone. They teach that being short of perfection is okay and that it’s more important to have the right mindset than simply getting everything right the first time. But is there a limit to their ‘come as you are’ attitude? Coming to an AA meeting while intoxicated seems like a (pretty obvious) bad idea. What isn’t immediately clear is whether that’s actively disallowed or just something that’s frowned upon. 

Can I Go To AA If I’ve Been Drinking?

Technically, yes, you can attend an AA meeting while drunk or high. While it’s not ideal, there are no official Alcoholics Anonymous rules about who can attend group meetings or what condition they must be in. That said, individual groups have nearly full autonomy to conduct themselves how they wish (after following the foundations of the Traditions, of course) and may have their own rules regarding a participant showing up in this state. Typically, it’s only those who are belligerent and disruptive that are ever asked to leave. 

Why Is It Frowned Upon?

It boils down to two main reasons. One: If you’re drunk, you’re less likely to get the full benefit of what’s being shared. Attending a meeting might ultimately be a waste of your time and put you at a greater likelihood of being disruptive to others. Two: The sight or smell of an intoxicated person could be triggering to other attendees. Your presence might not just be disruptive but actually detrimental to someone else’s recovery.   

However, people going to AA meetings after they’ve been drinking is far from a rare occurrence. Many groups have unofficial protocols for how these individuals are dealt with and whose members have literally been in that same position.

What to Expect if You’re Drunk at an AA Meeting

Despite how discreet you think you are, other Alcoholics Anonymous attendees will likely be able to tell if you’ve been drinking. In most cases, you will be allowed to stay, though it is within their rights to ask you to leave, which is not unheard of. Here are some things you can expect to happen:

• You’ll be asked not to share: Speaking is considered a privilege to those who have abstained from drinking for at least 24 hours. Instead, they’ll ask that you only listen. 
• You can still meet and speak with other members: Odds are strong that at the beginning or end of the meeting, other sober members may take you aside to speak. You’ll likely get several pamphlets, phone numbers, and advice.
• You’ll be encouraged to come back: Alcoholics Anonymous groups are filled with people who have been in your shoes and genuinely want you to get better. You won’t be shunned or shamed if you go to a meeting drunk. Instead, you’ll be encouraged to return with a gentle suggestion to abstain from drinking before attending.

To Start Somewhere in AA

Don’t let a fear of judgment stop you from getting the help you need. You aren’t the first and certainly won’t be the last person to have gone to AA while drunk, and the only true requirement to joining is a desire to stop drinking (see Tradition Three). Get your sobriety journey started, and find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting near you today.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who have a desire to stop drinking. This program is based on the 12 steps and 12 traditions outlined by the founders of this program in the original text: The Big Book. The founding principles put a great focus on anonymity and accessibility. In order to make AA meetings and the 12 step accessible, the program is virtually free. You cannot be required to pay to attend a meeting and there are ways to get the books and pamphlets for free. So is Alcoholics Anonymous free? The short answer is yes.

How is AA Funded?

Members of AA gather in physical locations, provide free coffee and snacks, and review the text the program was created around. How can Alcoholics Anonymous be free when it requires meeting space, snacks, and books – things that cost money? In addition to that, the 7th tradition states that these groups “ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” So how in the heck do they pay for things? It all comes down to contributions from members within the organization. While not every member will have the means to contribute, those who do are encouraged to do so. 

The 1st tradition mentions unity and the 5th tradition says to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. One way to carry out these traditions is for each member to donate what they can to keep the meetings going. By keeping the meetings going, they are maintaining a space to gather together (unity) and for new members to seek help through AA (carry its message). Carrying the message of AA is also a part of the 12th step.

Getting Materials for Free

From pamphlets to books, there is a lot of AA literature out there and getting them printed is not free. However, the fellowship does everything in its power to make the materials affordable or even free to its members. Here are some ways

• AA is not setting out to make a profit, therefore if you do set out to buy new materials you can still get them at an affordable price. 
• You can read an AA book anywhere you go as they are available as eBooks for just a few dollars.
• When it comes to books, pamphlets, or any AA literature, members are encouraged to pass their literature on to someone else in need once they are done. When books are passed down, it allows those without extra money to gain insight into the program. This is just one way in which they can make the program more accessible and carry on the message of AA. 

Find an AA Meeting & Get Started for Free

AA meetings are free to attend throughout the country. This means you can begin your recovery journey and get support for zero dollars. There is no excuse to wait another day. Find an AA Meeting Near you.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

 

Although this is the final step of Alcoholics Anonymous, your journey is far from over. In Step 12 participants are urged to carry on the message of AA as well as to honestly live its principles each and every day. In this guide to working step 12, you’ll learn what a “spiritual awakening” is, how to avoid the trap of complacency and the right ways to help other alcoholics. 

What Is a Spiritual Awakening? 

Whether you are religious or not, the twelve steps are a journey based on your acceptance and development of your spirituality. In each step, you were faced with a different focus that challenged you to grow in a certain part of yourself: learning humility, understanding personal responsibility, developing a desire to be your best self. It is this newfound spirituality that has enabled you to look inward and open yourself up to change and makes you excited to continue to change. 

The original text describes a spiritual awakening as a new state of consciousness where you can do, feel, and believe what you previously couldn’t on your own. It could be hope, that you deserve love, or that you would ever break alcohol’s hold on you. It is both a mental and emotional transformation that has made you more resilient to life’s hardships. This doesn’t mean you no longer have flaws and shortcomings, but that you can address and fix them where before Alcoholics Anonymous you did not. 

Avoiding Complacency: What Is Two Stepping?

Many of those who have completed the last step in Alcoholics Anonymous will say how satisfying it is–understandable, as it required jumping through numerous emotional hurdles to get to this point. For some, this satisfaction comes from having their personal, professional, social, and romantic relationships greatly improved. While these are all wonderful positives, they are superficial victories that can prevent these individuals from growing further. 

This is a fairly commonplace occurrence, so much so that it has a term associated with it called “two-stepping”. This occurs when an individual who is still involved in AA doesn’t feel it necessary to go through all the 12 steps again. It might be for the reasons listed above or not, but either way, there is such a sense of self-satisfaction that they only do a select few of the steps. Two-stepping refers to doing only the first and twelfth step of Alcoholics Anonymous.  This highly erroneous way of thinking is dangerous because it can prevent you from growing further.

Working Step 12: Carrying the AA Message To Other Alcoholics

The majority of the text about Step 12 is essentially a recap of all that you’ve learned and emphasizes the importance of living the principles of AA in your everyday life. The actionable part of this step is quite well-known: spreading the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to others who need help. 

There are multiple ways to do this: speaking at meetings, convincing other alcoholics to attend meetings, and sponsoring others. However, speaking to or in front of others isn’t the only way to spread the message (you’re welcome, introverts). It can mean taking more of a backstage role that helps keep your local AA chapter functioning or keeping the meetings running smoothly. This can mean booking venues, setting up seating, or even managing the refreshments. Ultimately, carrying the message is about supporting the organization and those within it. 

But, we are humans, and sometimes pride or other messy emotions can get in the way of our good intentions. Here are a few things not to do when attempting to carry the message:

• Don’t get discouraged if the people you try to help end up relapsing or reject your advice
• Don’t be overeager to share your advice; you might inadvertently lead someone down a path that was right for you but not for them
• Don’t take a leadership position before you feel ready for it