Category: Al-Anon

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a worldwide organization whose foundational principle of the Twelve Steps has become synonymous with addiction recovery. However, those alone are not the sole reason for the organization’s widespread success. AA meetings are a key component of its approach to recovery, providing a safe and supportive environment where people experiencing alcoholism can find encouragement and guidance. Curious about joining? Here’s what you should know before taking the first step of attending a meeting:

How long is an AA meeting?

Alcoholics Anonymous meeting structures can vary depending on the specific group and the activities planned for that particular meeting. Despite this, all AA meetings typically last around one hour. Group leaders are aware that people have busy schedules and lives and do their best to be respectful of others’ time.

What happens in AA meetings?

During an AA meeting, participants will typically follow a structured format that includes the following components:

Opening remarks: The meeting leader or facilitator will typically begin the meeting by welcoming everyone and introducing any new members or visitors.

Sharing of personal stories: Participants are usually encouraged to share their experiences with alcohol addiction and recovery. This can include talking about the challenges and struggles they have faced, as well as any progress or successes they have achieved.

Reading and discussion of AA literature: This may include reading from the organization’s “Big Book” or other AA literature, and discussing the principles and teachings contained within.

Group discussion: This may include group members discussing specific topics related to recovery, or simply sharing their thoughts and experiences.

Closing remarks: The meeting leader or facilitator will typically conclude the meeting by thanking everyone for their participation and reminding them of any upcoming events or meetings.

Can I just turn up to an AA meeting?

Yes, anyone is welcome to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings regardless of their specific substance use history, the stage of their addiction treatment journey, or whether they’ve gone to an AA meeting before. Per AA’s core philosophy, these meetings are open to anyone who is seeking support and guidance in their journey toward recovery from alcohol addiction.

It is important to note that AA meetings are not a substitute for professional treatment. If you are struggling with alcohol addiction and are seeking treatment, it is important to speak with a healthcare professional or a substance abuse treatment provider. They can help you to determine the most appropriate course of treatment for your specific needs and circumstances.

If you are interested in attending an AA meeting, you can find a meeting near you by visiting the AA website or by searching online for AA meetings in your local area. Many AA groups also have information about their meetings listed in local newspapers or community bulletins. You can also ask your healthcare provider or a substance abuse treatment provider for information about AA meetings in your area.

What AA meetings are not

One of the key components of AA meetings is the sharing of personal stories. Participants are encouraged to share their experiences with alcohol addiction and recovery and to discuss the challenges and struggles they have faced along the way. This helps to create a sense of connection and support among the group members and allows them to draw strength and encouragement from one another.

It is important to note that AA meetings are not therapy sessions and they are not intended to be a substitute for professional treatment. Rather, they provide a supportive and structured setting for people to share their experiences with others who are also working to overcome their addiction.

What is the true success rate of AA?

The success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous is difficult to quantify. AA is a voluntary (and anonymous) program where individuals may come and go as they please. There’s no commitment required at any instance, so gathering any sort of data or metrics about AA participants can be challenging at best.

However, many people who have participated in AA have reported that the support and guidance they received from the organization and its members have been invaluable in their journey toward recovery. Regardless, it is always recommended that individuals seeking recovery from alcohol addiction seek out a combination of professional treatment and support from AA and other peer support groups.

Overall, AA meetings provide a supportive and structured environment for individuals working to overcome their alcohol addiction. Through the sharing of personal stories, discussion of literature, and other activities, this organization helps to provide guidance and support for those in recovery and can be an important part of the journey toward lasting recovery. Find a local AA group near you today. 

The Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) program is a 12-Step program that focuses on emotional sobriety. It focuses on the family system, addressing common behaviors and personality traits that result from childhood trauma. The program provides a safe space for people to share their experiences, strength, and hope with each other to help them heal and find freedom. While a considerable portion is focused on alcoholism, ACA or ACoA is a program that helps people who grew up in dysfunctional families. ACA is a program that helps people who grew up in homes where abuse, neglect, and trauma were prevalent.

Understanding the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) Program

The ACA program began in 1986. It’s based on the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) principles as adapted for people struggling with the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family. ACA is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or any other 12-step organization; it’s simply one of many groups that have adopted AA’s principles to address a different kind of addiction: one that many children inherit when they grow up in an alcoholic home.

ACA is a 12-step recovery program for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. Dr. Janet Geringer Woititz initially started the program. She identified the three basic characteristics of children raised in these environments: fearfulness (fear of abandonment), low self-esteem, and perfectionism.

The ACA Literature

Similarly to AA, the ACA program bases its teachings on the literature that outlines the program and helps members navigate through concepts, steps, and guidance to find long-lasting recovery:

• The Laundry List: 14 traits that define an adult child of an alcoholic.
• The Problem: Explains how children in alcoholic or dysfunctional households protect themselves by becoming people-pleasers and adapting other personality traits that continue to affect their adult lives.
• The Solution: To teach people how to become their loving parents.
• The Promises: Bits of hope and promises to help motivate people to focus on recovery.

The 12-Steps

The 12-Steps are adapted from the initial steps of AA:

1. We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction and that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We believed that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We decided to turn our will and lives over to God’s care as we understand God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take personal inventory and promptly admitted it when we were wrong.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening from these steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

What to Expect from ACA Meetings

ACA has the adult child and family members attend separate meetings held throughout the week and weekend schedules at several locations. ACA also offers an online group where you can talk with others about your experiences growing up in an abusive/dysfunctional home.

Meeting types and formats are designed to help members feel comfortable and safe. Some meetings are open to anyone, while others have restrictions such as men-only, women-only, young adult, or teen-only.

Each meeting starts with an introduction to the meeting and a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer. 

A member might read a portion of The Problem or an item from The Laundry List. Another one will read The Solution, and a third member will read an item from The 12-Steps. The meeting’s host will also explain the style of the meeting and will talk a little bit about what to expect.

Most meetings focus on learning about the steps, identifying The Problem, and learning how to live with The Solution, one day at a time. 

The idea of these meetings is to reinforce the learnings of ACA:

• I didn’t cause the addiction
• I can’t control the addiction
• I can’t cure the addiction

These are huge lessons for many and can take quite some time to understand. The ACA was created to help people identify the problems that have arisen from their upbringing and offer a path to a solution.

Consider Joining an ACA Meeting Near You

The Adult Children of Alcoholics program is designed to help you find your way out of the pain and confusion of being raised in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family. It will give you tools to break the cycle of abuse, neglect, and abandonment that has been passed down through generations. It can bring you peace and joy in your life and the ability to live free from fear, guilt, or shame.

If you or someone you know grew up in a household with substance use disorder, consider seeking an ACA meeting near you to start your recovery journey.

Alcohol is one of the most commonly used drugs in the world. At least half of all Americans aged 12 and up report themselves to be drinkers. Unsurprisingly, alcohol addiction is one of the most common types of addiction, which in 2019 was estimated to be 14.5 million Americans. But the consequences of alcoholism don’t only affect the drinkers themselves. All too frequently, alcoholism has financial, emotional, and even physical impacts on those closest to the addicted person. One out of every five families reports drinking being a source of trouble in the family and spouses often bear the brunt of this burden. If you suspect that your wife or husband might have a drinking problem, here’s how to help an alcoholic spouse and hopefully salvage the relationship as well.

1. Recognize the signs

Alcoholism is a progressive disease that quickly gets worse once it takes hold. The best way to help an alcoholic husband or wife is to recognize it in as early a stage as possible. By the time a person’s alcoholism is obvious enough to be noticed by others, they are usually very far along. 

Look for behavioral changes to identify the early signs of a potential drinking problem. A spouse who claims they need a drink to do an activity (like going to sleep, talking to people, or being intimate) is a huge red flag. If they leave group settings to drink in private–or frequently drink on their own–this secretive behavior could indicate they know their drinking habits are abnormal and are purposefully trying to hide it from others. Be sure to keep an eye out if they’re drinking more frequently and at inappropriate times (e.g. morning at breakfast, before or during work).

The longer an alcohol addiction goes unchecked, the more severe impacts will be had on brain function. Memory, emotional regulation, cognition, and rational thinking ability are all impaired and make it even more difficult to speak to an alcoholic about their drinking problem.

2. Don’t be an enabler

Whether your spouse is in the early or late stages of alcoholism, enabling them is something that should absolutely be avoided by all means. This can mean making excuses for their behavior (either to others or themselves), cleaning up after their mistakes (such as legal or financial trouble), lending them money, or even buying them alcohol directly–actions that allow the person to continue their drinking habits or removes them from facing the consequences of their actions.  

Many of those who try to help their alcoholic spouses are well-intentioned. They feel they’re doing the right thing, that they are being a loyal partner and that their continued sacrifice or compassion will get through to their loved one. Unfortunately, enabling accomplishes nothing except for making a bad situation worse. Continuously bailing their spouse out of tough situations removes them from responsibility. Without having to deal with the consequences, they have little incentive to change their destructive ways. Pair this with their impaired ability to make rational decisions and increased impulsivity and you’ve got a dangerous recipe that all but guarantees their outlandish drinking-related drama will continue.

3. Join a support group

Loving an alcoholic often comes with a tremendous emotional burden. Their spouses are often left to deal with ongoing feelings of guilt, anger, or hopelessness when pleas for their partner to change fall on deaf ears. Similar to the support groups for alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, there are also support groups for the loved ones of alcoholics. Al-Anon is an organization closely related to AA that is a place where friends and family of those with drinking problems can gather to offer advice and support to one another. 

Using slightly modified versions of the 12 Steps of AA, Al-Anon helps members work through those feelings. It teaches them healthy coping mechanisms as well as how to come to term with their partner’s addiction. It also provides advice on how to live with an alcoholic and how to support them before, during, and after their addiction treatment process.

There are chapters all around the world and very likely, in your local area. Find an Al-Anon group meeting today with this helpful directory that allows you to search by state and city. 

4. Get professional help

Substance abuse is not simply an issue of willpower or desire. It is a series of physiological and psychological transformations that causes the brain and body to require the drug to function. This is what leads us to crave the substances that are so harmful to us. As such, if your spouse is an alcoholic they’ll more than likely need professional help to overcome their addiction. There are many types of programs and treatments that are specially designed to treat (and hopefully reverse) the effects of alcoholism. Find an addiction treatment center near you today.

Working the 12 Steps of Al-Anon gives you a chance to accompany loved ones as they discover a way to get their lives back on track. The program is designed to guide those affected by another person’s drinking toward a more healthy, productive life centered on the individual’s needs, not their loved ones. If you’re new to Al-Anon, this brief guide will explain what to expect and work the steps. 

What Is Al-Anon?

Al-Anon is an alternative support group for those affected by someone else’s drinking. It follows a very similar structure to the famous 12-steps from Alcoholics Anonymous. However, in Al-Anon, the steps are meant to help families and loved ones of alcohol addicts. Keep reading if you’re interested in working the steps alongside your parents or spouse.

Al-Anon 12 Steps & Traditions

Al-Anon is a mutual support group for family members and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon suggests its members use the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous as a guide to overcoming alcoholism. These steps are designed to help alcoholics achieve and maintain sobriety by assisting them in understanding how they became dependent on alcohol, why they refuse to stop drinking, and how they can overcome those tendencies in themselves.

12-Steps

Al-Anon recommends that its members work all of the original 12 Steps with its suggested modifications for the sake of their recovery from codependency. The 12 Steps are:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when injured them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and promptly admitted it when we were wrong.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening due to these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs.

12 Traditions

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
2. There is but one authority for our group purpose — a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.
3. The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
4. Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.
5. Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and welcoming and comforting families of alcoholics.
6. Our Family Groups ought never to endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest money, property, and prestige problems divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always cooperate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. Our groups, as such, ought never to be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never to be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we must always maintain personal anonymity at the press, radio, films, and TV. We need to guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

Working the 12 Steps of Al-Anon

Although the steps and traditions seem to be written for the alcoholic, they also reflect on the family. When the first step says, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol,” it means that the family cannot take responsibility for their loved one’s drinking. Working the Al-Anon steps is about rethinking the family unit after alcoholism. It encourages the family also to find forgiveness, hope, and a path towards recovery.