Look Out for This Typical Addict Behavior in Relationships

All types of relationships, be they friendly, romantic, or familial, are strained when addiction is involved. Despite their differences, the harmful patterns disrupting these relationships are very similar. Recognizing common addictive behaviors in relationships can help cope with a loved one’s substance abuse and protect your well-being. Here’s what you should know. 

5 Common Addict Behaviors in Relationships

Drug or alcohol addiction involves selfish, self-centered behavior. The addict may manipulate, verbally abuse, or gaslight their partner to get what they want, often leaving the loved one feeling trapped or pressured to accommodate the addiction. These are the most typical addict behaviors in relationships. 

1. Codependency

In an addict’s relationship, codependency affects both parties. The addict becomes reliant on you, viewing you as their caregiver. You may become dependent on them, needing to care for them, leading to a loss of self-worth and identity. 

This dependence gives the addict the illusion that they don’t need help beyond your care. If you try to leave this caretaker role, the addict may react aggressively. Becoming a never-ending vicious cycle. 

2. Controlling Behavior

An addict’s life is chaotic, with their addiction and other life aspects out of control. They may try to control yours, dictating where you go, what you do, and who you’re with. This behavior can turn violent and abusive in relationships.

3. Dishonesty

Your partner might not initially disclose their addiction due to guilt or fear. They may lie about their daily activities, eventually resorting to making excuses about their whereabouts as the addiction escalates.

4. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological abuse tactic where the addict distorts your reality to continue their behavior. You may take time to recognize that your partner is gaslighting, as they’ll insist that they don’t need help, making you question your perceptions.

5. Manipulation

Manipulation often starts subtly, with the addict being excessively nice when making a request. They resort to begging, arguing, self-pity, or threats if questioned or denied. You can protect yourself from their unhealthy demands by identifying these manipulation attempts.

Other Signs of Addiction in Relationships

Drug or alcohol abuse can emotionally alter your partner, causing them to become distant or indifferent. Aggressive behavior towards you is not your fault. Other signs of addiction in a relationship include:

  • Isolation: Addicts may avoid family, friends, and romantic partners due to shame or guilt or to hide their addiction.
  • Obsession: Addicts might obsess over their partners or enablers, focusing on them more than themselves.
  • Poor Communication: Mood swings can obstruct communication, making conversations fraught with aggression.
  • Unhealthy Habits: Neglecting self-care and their partner’s needs while prioritizing drug use can erode the relationship.

Dealing with Addiction in Your Relationship

Seeing a loved one act aggressively and unpredictably due to addiction can be distressing. Here are some tips to help you:

  • Seek Help: Support groups for loved ones of addicts can provide much-needed understanding and reduce feelings of isolation.
  • Avoid Confrontation: Don’t argue with the addict while they’re using to prevent escalating tensions and potential violence.
  • Stay Calm: Try to remain objective and calm during confrontations. Identify manipulative tactics and think before responding.
  • Prioritize Your Mental Health: Focus on self-care and consider speaking with a therapist.
  • Show Support: If your partner starts recovery, be supportive and actively involved in their journey.

Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care

Navigating a relationship with an addict can be stressful and emotionally draining. Prioritizing self-care and establishing firm boundaries is vital for maintaining your mental health and preventing enabling behaviors.

Setting Boundaries

Clear boundaries can help establish a healthier dynamic in your relationship. These could be related to finances, behaviors, responsibilities, or other aspects of your shared life. 

Make it clear that you will not support their addictive behaviors, like providing money for substances or covering up their mistakes. These boundaries should be communicated openly, respectfully, and firmly, keeping in mind that they are set to protect both you and your loved one.

Understanding Detachment

It’s important to understand the concept of emotional detachment. Detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring about the person; instead, it’s about separating your emotional well-being from the chaos that addiction can cause. 

It’s recognizing that you can’t control or cure your loved one’s addiction – they need to face themselves.

Prioritizing Self-Care

Amid the turmoil, it’s easy to forget about your needs. However, remember that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. This can involve physical activities like regular exercise, a balanced diet, and enough sleep, as well as mental health practices like meditation, relaxation techniques, or engaging in hobbies and activities you enjoy. 

Keeping a support system and sharing your feelings with trusted friends, family, or support groups can also be highly beneficial.

Stay Positive

Remember, helping your loved one doesn’t mean neglecting your well-being. By practicing self-care and setting boundaries, you’re helping yourself and creating an environment that could encourage your loved one to seek help.

If your loved one has a substance use disorder, don’t hesitate to seek help. If your safety is in immediate danger, call 911. Addiction affects people of all backgrounds, and there’s no shame in seeking help.

Is Mixing Energy Drinks with Alcohol Safe?

Energy drinks are beverages with high levels of stimulant substances (generally sugar, caffeine, and herbal extracts) marketed as a quick solution to increase mental awareness and physical performance. Red Bull, Monster, and Bang are some of the most popular energy drinks.

Some people enjoy drinking energy drinks and alcohol simultaneously to party longer. As a depressant, alcohol tends to slow you down after enough drinks, leading some to take energy drinks to counteract the effects of alcohol.

As we will see, this combination is problematic and may lead to many undesirable side effects. 

The Side Effects of Mixing Energy Drinks and Alcohol

One of the main risks associated with mixing energy drinks and alcohol is the combination of a depressant (alcohol) with a stimulant (the energy drink).

Mixing depressants and stimulants can be risky because the results are unpredictable, often leading to both substances masking each other’s effects. When this happens, it’s easy to believe they’re not affecting you, increasing the likelihood of consuming more of both beverages and suffering more severe side effects from the combination.

Physical Side Effects

The physical side effects of mixing energy drinks and alcohol include the following:

  • Alcohol-related injuries. Some evidence suggests that mixing alcohol and energy drinks increases the chances of suffering alcohol-related injuries, such as car wrecks, falls, drownings, and burns.
  • Increased systolic and diastolic blood pressure. Primarily caused by excessive energy drink consumption. Some energy drinks also contain high amounts of sodium, increasing blood pressure.
  • Irregular heartbeat. Both drinks may cause irregular heartbeat, making them riskier in combination. This is especially true for people naturally vulnerable to the condition.
  • Dehydration. Both drinks make you want to pee, potentially dehydrating you if you pee too much.
  • Physical incoordination. Being uncoordinated increases the risk of falling and other alcohol-related injuries.

Cognitive and Behavioral Side Effects

Combining these drinks may also lead to some cognitive and behavioral side effects, such as:

  • A stronger desire to drink, as energy drinks, may increase the urge to drink more. The more you drink, the higher the chances of suffering alcohol’s side effects, such as alcohol poisoning.
  • Decreased perceived intoxication or being “wide-awake drunk.” Some people may feel like they’re less intoxicated than they are, leading them to drink more alcohol. 
  • Impaired driving skills, heightening the risk of car accidents.
  • Risky sexual behavior from alcohol intoxication, such as unprotected sex.
  • Reduced self-control and ability to anticipate the consequences of your actions.

It’s also important to point out that the caffeine in energy drinks doesn’t affect alcohol metabolism.

Long-term Health Side Effects

Consistently mixing these drinks may lead to long-term consequences from individual and combined side effects, such as:

  • Chronically elevated blood pressure increases the risk of strokes, heart attacks, and heart diseases.
  • Sleep pattern alterations, such as insomnia. Long-term disordered sleeping may also lead to heart disease.
  • Chronically high triglycerides from excessive sugar consumption increase the risk of plaque forming in your arteries.
  • Gain weight from excessive caloric intake. Alcoholic beverages and energy drinks can increase caloric intake, accelerating weight gain and the potential side effects of being overweight or obese.
  • Higher risk of developing alcoholism.
  • Weakened immune system, caused by alcohol abuse.
  • Long-term alcohol abuse causes sexual dysfunction. Additionally, women may suffer from disrupted menstrual cycles and increased pregnancy complications.

Impact on Teenagers and Young Adults

Teenagers and younger adults are generally more at risk of the side effects of mixing alcohol and energy drinks. The fruity flavors and the high-budget, attractive marketing campaigns for a younger audience make energy drinks more appealing to college-aged adults and underaged teens.

Some data shows that younger people have a preference for this combination. A 2017 survey on adolescent drug use determined that 10.6% of 8th, 10th, and 12th-grade students reported mixing alcohol with energy drinks at least once in the past year. 31.8% of young adults between 19 and 28 did the same.

These statistics are unsurprising, considering that marketing campaigns for caffeinated alcoholic beverages (CABs, premixed alcoholic-caffeinated drinks) have historically targeted the younger demographic with flashy youth-oriented graphics, often associating them with extreme sports and risk-taking behavior. 

In November 2010, however, the FDA warned seven CAB manufacturers their product could not stay in the market, and the manufacturers removed the stimulants from their drinks.

However, banning CABs from the market doesn’t change the fact that mixing alcohol and energy drinks is very easy, leaving teens and college-aged adults vulnerable to their side effects. 

Additional factors like peer pressure, inexperience, or lack of knowledge of either drink’s side effects may still make teens and younger people more vulnerable to mixing them.

Educating teens and younger adults close to you about their side effects and long-term consequences is important.

Are Energy Drinks Riskier Than Other Caffeinated Drinks Combined With Alcohol?

In addition to caffeine, many energy drinks contain other ingredients like sugar, ginseng, guarana, and B vitamins. Ginseng, for example, may cause dizziness, sluggishness, drowsiness, and shortness of breath when combined with alcohol. 

Mixing alcohol with energy drinks may expose you to the side effects of additional ingredients combined with alcohol (on top of caffeine), depending on the concentration.

How to Minimize Risks?

The best way to mitigate the combined risks of energy drinks and alcohol is not to combine them. Still, you may like the taste or how the caffeine-alcohol combination makes you feel. In those cases, moderation is the name of the game. 

Try following these recommendations if you plan to combine energy drinks and alcohol:

  • If you like the stimulant effect when you drink alcohol, try to drink a caffeinated drink a few hours before you start consuming alcohol. Even a cup of coffee hours earlier helps you stay more “awake” while drinking.
  • Try to avoid energy drinks with high sugar content. Sugary drinks are addictive and may lead you to drinking higher quantities in short periods.
  • Drink water between alcoholic or energy drinks. It helps you rehydrate and lessens tomorrow’s hangover.
  • Drink only with people you trust.
  • Have a plan for returning home that doesn’t include driving.
  • If going out with friends, plan where you’re going and stick to that plan. It’ll help control your drinking.

Ultimately, the best solution is not mixing them since mixing energy drinks with alcohol is riskier than only drinking alcohol. But if you combine them, follow the advice above and listen to your body. 

When you start to feel too drunk, uncoordinated, or any other side effects of this combo, stop mixing them and rehydrate.

If you or anyone close to you frequently mixes alcohol with energy drinks and suffers consistent side effects, they would likely benefit from talking to a professional and developing coping skills. It’s always possible to overcome substance abuse and dependence with the right support system.

Buprenorphine: FDA Warnings Include Tooth Decay

Buprenorphine is one of the most effective medications for treating opioid use disorder (OUD). When combined with counseling and behavioral therapies, buprenorphine can help people with opioid addiction achieve and sustain long-term recovery.

However, the FDA recently released a warning about dental problems, especially tooth decay, in patients with buprenorphine treatments. This warning is specifically for buprenorphine oral tablets and films that are placed under the tongue or on the inside of the cheek.

If you or someone you know is taking buprenorphine, here’s what you need to know about the FDA warning about related dental problems.

What is Buprenorphine?

Buprenorphine is a partial opioid agonist derived from opioids that alters the brain and nervous system’s reaction to pain. It produces euphoria at low to moderate doses, weaker than full opioids like methadone and heroin. 

When taken as prescribed, buprenorphine can help diminish the effects of opioid dependency, including withdrawal symptoms and cravings. It increases safety in case of overdose to potentially prevent death. And can lower the potential for opioid misuse.

Buprenorphine is FDA-approved for the treatment of opioid abuse in multiple products, including:

  • Buprenorphine/Naloxone sublingual tablets
  • Subutex (buprenorphine sublingual tablets)
  • Suboxone (buprenorphine/naloxone sublingual films)
  • Zubsolv (buprenorphine/naloxone sublingual tablets)
  • Bunavail (buprenorphine/naloxone buccal film)
  • Probuphine (buprenorphine implants)
  • Sublocade (buprenorphine extended-release injection)

Buprenorphine and Tooth Decay

According to the 2022 FDA warning, medications that include buprenorphine, such as Suboxone, could cause tooth decay due to acid exposure to teeth and gums.

In their communication, the organization identified 305 cases of dental problems related to dissolved-in-the-mouth buprenorphine medicines. Remember, these were only directly reported and published in medical literature cases; there could be more that they’re unaware of.

The most common symptoms include: 

  • Tooth decay
  • Cavities
  • Bad breath
  • Oral infections
  • Tooth fracture
  • Loss of teeth

Most of them were using buprenorphine for OUD, but 28 were using it for pain treatment. In at least 26 cases, patients had no prior history of dental problems. Some cases reported dental issues as soon as two weeks after treatment began. 

It’s important to note that the buprenorphine medicines associated with dental problems are only tablets and films dissolved under the tongue or placed against the cheek. 

Unfortunately, the FDA didn’t pinpoint any risk factors for dental problems in people who use buprenorphine medicines. And they also noted that the benefits of buprenorphine far outweigh the potential risks. The comprehensive approach of using buprenorphine combined with counseling is still one of the most effective ways to treat OUD and help people sustain addiction recovery. 

Connection Between Buprenorphine Treatment and Dental Health

In one study of patients taking buprenorphine for over 45 months, researchers found many reported dental issues, including caries, fillings, cracked teeth, crown placements, root canal treatments, and tooth extractions. More than half of the participants reported toothache pain. 

These dental issues mirror findings from previous reports; a significant percentage of the patients wanted dental treatment, indicating a perceived decline in oral health. Although the reasons for this decline are not clear, several factors like cigarette smoking, bruxism, regular soda consumption, moderate dental hygiene practices, and use of other psychotropic medications that can negatively impact oral health were reported by patients. 

The way buprenorphine/naloxone treatment is used may also play a role in the patient’s dental issues. As the treatment is given sublingually and has an acidic pH, keeping the tablet and saliva in the oral cavity to enhance absorption can lead to a low pH environment. This and the medication frequency can alter the tooth surface microbial profile and promote dental caries.

However, the study acknowledges limitations such as a small sample size, potential confounding factors that might contribute to the development of caries, and the lack of a control group which makes it impossible to ascertain if dental issues predated the use of buprenorphine or were related to other lifestyle or biological factors.

How to Treat Buprenorphine-Induced Tooth Decay?

It’s important to remember that experiencing dental health issues is a common effect of drug abuse. Poor hygiene, poor nutrition, tobacco use, and opioid abuse can all contribute to tooth decay. 

Also, dental problems tend to be side effects of mouth-dissolving medications. However, you can maintain your buprenorphine treatment while protecting your oral health.

If you want to avoid your teeth rotting because of the use of buprenorphine, the FDA recommends some extra steps in your treatment:

  • Gently rinse your teeth and gums with water after the sublingual tablet or the film is completely dissolved. Swish the water around your mouth to remove any remaining medication, then swallow.
  • Brush your teeth after an hour of taking the tablet or film. 
  • Schedule a dental checkup, inform the dentist about your buprenorphine treatment, and have regular follow-up appointments. 

However, if you are already experiencing dental problems due to buprenorphine oral administration, you will need dental treatment. Some reported cases required:

  • Tooth extraction/removal
  • Root canals
  • Dental surgery
  • Crowns or implants

Should I Be Worried If I’m Taking Buprenorphine?

An estimated 1.7 million people take prescripted buprenorphine, whether for OUD or pain treatment and many report no dental pain or other oral health issues. Incorporating some extra steps in your daily dental care routine can help reduce the chances of dental problems caused by buprenorphine. 

If you are a patient currently on buprenorphine treatment, remember not to stop taking the prescribed medication abruptly. Doing so could lead to relapse, misuse or abuse of other opioids, overdose, and death.

The best thing you can do is contact your healthcare facilitator and explain your concern. They could lower your daily dose or suggest another administration route. They can also help you contact a dental care professional to prepare a tooth decay prevention plan. 

How Cinderella Syndrome Impacts Addiction

Cinderella syndrome (also sometimes referred to as a Cinderella complex or the Cinderella effect) is a psychological condition when a person has “an unconscious desire to be taken care of by someone else.” It was popularized in a book written by author and psychotherapist, Colette Dowling, in reference to the main character of the well-known fairytale — a princess who relies on being rescued by her prince to escape her miserable situation. 

Initially, the term only referred to women who had a fear of independence and felt that they needed a (usually male) savior.  Since then, Cinderella syndrome (and its many names), has been adopted by mental health professionals. It can now be applied to refer to anyone who believes that they can only find happiness through external sources, such as romantic relationships or material possessions. 

Why the Cinderella Syndrome is a toxic way of thinking

A “Cinderella complex” is a deceptively cute name for a highly toxic thought pattern. The reasons why this attitude is problematic are obvious. At its core, there’s a lack of willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions. It also discourages the individual from recognizing that they have agency and can change (and even improve) their situation themselves. 

The notion of waiting for the proverbial “white knight” or “prince charming” to come to the rescue is going to result in making poor choices, be they in love, work, amongst family, friends, or strangers — or perhaps failing to make any choices at all. 

How Cinderella Syndrome Can Impact Addiction

For the reasons outlined above, this syndrome is particularly detrimental when it comes to addiction recovery. The nature of this condition lends itself all too well to behavior that can either lead to a path of addiction or fuel it further.

Prone to unhealthy coping mechanisms

Someone with Cinderella syndrome either doesn’t believe they can manage their own emotions or simply lack the desire to do so. Instead, they place the responsibility for their physical, emotional, or psychological well-being on others. Naturally, this type of person is also likely to be prone to relying on other external coping mechanisms. 

For many, this means drugs or alcohol. They may think something along the lines of “Drinking will make all my problems go away” which ends up being a gateway to addiction.

Lack of motivation to modify behavior

A person with Cinderella syndrome always expects someone else to get them out of their situation. So in a circumstance like addiction, where it ultimately comes down to that individual’s desire and determination to make positive changes (something that someone with Cinderella syndrome severely lacks), they may have an exceptionally difficult time trying to recover.   

Instead of taking accountability for their actions or reflecting on the changes they could make to better themselves, they may think something along the lines of “Once I get the perfect romantic partner/job/physique, I won’t need to drink to feel happy.”  

As with the other scenario, this fairytale line of thinking puts the burden of responsibility on some external object or person to serve as the catalyst that prompts the change in some way. Perhaps filling some emotional void or something more practical such as financial assistance. In either instance, the individual is the recipient of some sort of action that “rescues” them from the situation, rather than them needing to make any meaningful change.

Leads to unrealistic expectations

Whether you’re placing expectations on someone or something beyond your control, odds are that you’re going to be disappointed. If you’re expecting someone or something to result in your “happily ever after,” then odds are you’re going to be even more disappointed. 

To someone with a Cinderella complex, they may only see two possible outcomes: success—or utter failure.​​ This lack of nuance sets a person up for disappointment and discouragement, serving as an emotional trigger that causes them to relapse. 

Shared Cinderella Syndrome and drug addiction characteristics

  • Escapism: Looks for relief from unpleasant situations through distractions that may not be productive or healthy  
  • Codependent: Being in an imbalanced relationship through which one or both partners base their self-worth on the other
  • Lack of accountability: Tends to blame others and look outward for the cause of their misfortunes
  • Self-sabotaging behavior: May consciously or unconsciously engage in behavior that sets them up for failure since “it wasn’t going to work anyways”
  • Poor self-image: Lack of self-esteem or worth may stop them from seeking assistance
  • Lack of control: Feeling powerless to create change; instead may rely on, or blame others when things don’t go their way

If you have a loved one suffering from addiction, you can’t just wish for a fairytale ending. For free addiction recovery support, find an AA group near you, today. 

7 Tips for Dealing with Stress in Sobriety

Nothing can hijack sobriety progress quite like stress. The emotional response can trigger cravings, disrupt emotional stability, impair decision-making abilities, undermine coping strategies, and exacerbate mental health issues. That’s why it’s absolutely essential that a person in recovery has strategies for dealing with stress in sobriety. Here are 7 healthy ways to cope with stress during recovery. 

7 Ways to Deal with Stress in Sobriety

Dealing with stress can be especially tricky for someone in recovery.  Not only because drug use can disrupt how their minds process emotions, but because their substance of choice was very likely their main coping mechanism. Maintaining sobriety means losing that past source of comfort — which often ends up being its own source of stress. 

The difference between a healthy and an unhealthy coping mechanism is the long-term impact on a person’s well-being. Bad coping mechanisms harm physical, emotional, or mental health and often have other negative consequences to either the individual, their immediate surroundings, or the larger community. 

By contrast, good coping mechanisms are constructive and sustainable, and have only positive consequences for both the individual and the world around them. Incorporating these suggestions into your daily life will help improve your overall emotional resilience.

  1. Move your body

One of the best things you can do for your physical, mental, and emotional health is to exercise. You don’t need to exert yourself so much that you’re red-faced and out of breath. A 15-minute brisk walk is enough to get the blood pumping and your brain firing off those feel-good neurochemicals. 

  1. Meditate/Deep breathing

These practices promote a state of relaxation, reduce physiological arousal, and calm the mind. Meditation also encourages individuals to become more in tune with themselves, allowing for greater emotional awareness and regulation. 

  1. Skip the caffeine

Caffeine is a stimulant that activates the central nervous system. It can exacerbate stress by heightening feelings of anxiety and restlessness as well as amplifying stress’ physiological effects by increasing heart rate and blood pressure. Caffeine is also counterproductive because it makes it harder for the body to come down from its state of high alert. 

  1. Smile!

The mind-body connection is powerful, and one easy way to trick your body into feeling happier and calmer is simply to smile. Doing so signals to the brain that you’re feeling good (why else would you be smiling?) which in turn, causes the release of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Smiling can also counteract muscle tension, thereby activating the body’s natural relaxation response. 

  1. Spend time outdoors

Spending time in natural environments, such as parks, forests, or near bodies of water, has a soothing and calming effect on the mind and body. Surrounding yourself with greenery has been scientifically proven to have calming effects. The sounds of nature can help too. Multiple studies found that participants who listened to bird calls had reduced feelings of anxiety, depression, and paranoia. 

  1. Listen to music

Listening to music you enjoy can uplift your mood and evoke positive emotions and serve as a useful distraction to whatever puts you in a bad mood. Listening to calming music (which may not be your usual genre), might have the greatest benefits.  Slow-tempo music with soft melodies and gentle rhythms can help lower cortisol levels, and directly counteract the effects of stress by slower breathing, reduced heart rate, and decreased muscle tension.

  1. Journal

Journaling is a productive form of self-expression that also encourages self-reflection. By writing about your experiences, challenges, and stressors, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your reactions to certain situations. This self-awareness can help identify patterns and triggers that contribute to stress and help you evaluate how you handled them and what did or didn’t work about your approach. 

Need help dealing with stress in sobriety?

Stress is unavoidable, whether the cause is work, money, or relationships. When it strikes, higher-level thinking, self-restraint, and decision-making take a backseat and our base primal instincts take control. Bad news for those in recovery.

Rather than trying to avoid stress entirely, it’s far more practical to learn how to deal with stress in a healthy and productive way. These natural stress relief methods are easy to incorporate into your daily routine. For more ideas on how to deal with stress, there’s no better source than your peers. 

Consider attending an AA meeting or NA meeting today to connect with other people who are in addiction recovery and know first-hand the struggles you are facing. If you’re dealing with chronic stress or another underlying mental health condition, talk to a medical professional to discuss possible medications for stress that could help you. 

90 in 90: A Strong Start to Recovery in AA

There are quite a few mantras widely used by AA’ers—many you have very likely heard before—like “Easy does it”, “Keep it simple”, or “One day at a time”. But they’re more than just catchy phrases that roll off the tongue. These Alcoholics Anonymous mantras serve as reminders of the AA’s guiding principles and are intentionally short and simple so that they’re easy to recall when someone encounters difficult moments in their addiction recovery process. Another one of these popular mantras is “90 in 90” (also sometimes referred to as “90 and 90”).

What does 90 in 90 mean?

The phrase “90 in 90” applies to someone who is just starting out their recovery journey. It means attending 90 Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings in 90 consecutive days, which is highly recommended for beginners newly in recovery. The principle originates from the belief that sustained engagement in recovery-oriented activities is essential for achieving lasting sobriety. 

4 Essential Benefits of 90 in 90

The 90 in 90 isn’t an easy undertaking, and requires commitment, commitment, and a good amount of planning, to accomplish. Those who step up to the challenge, however, will find their efforts well rewarded. 

Attending 90 meetings in 90 days establishes a strong foundation for individuals to develop and maintain abstinence from drugs or alcohol. Regular attendance at support group meetings, such as AA or NA, fosters a sense of community, accountability, and support, which have been scientifically proven to be critical for addiction recovery.

Enhanced Support System

The beginning of addiction recovery is arguably the hardest which is what makes social support in these early stages so invaluable. “90 in 90” promotes attending daily meetings, which will inevitably lead to individuals building a robust support network of other members. Support networks offer encouragement, guidance, and empathy which can go a long way towards providing motivation to stay sober. This is also important as addiction can be a highly isolating time in a person’s life and frequent social gatherings can also help to bring those walls back down. 

Structure and Routine

To accomplish 90 meetings in 90 days, a person must establish a structured routine and plan out their days in advance. Such future-oriented thinking is great for addiction recovery, promoting stability and reducing the likelihood of relapse.

Increased Accountability

Goals help keep individuals accountable for their actions and mindful of the final payoff. Having the goal of achieving 90 in 90 in mind will encourage them to remain dedicated and focused on staying sober.

Exposure to Diverse Perspectives

Alcoholics Anonymous brings together people from all sorts of backgrounds. Frequently attending meetings will also quickly expose individuals to a wide range of experiences, insights, and coping strategies, expanding their understanding of addiction and recovery. 

Additionally, attending meetings daily in early recovery will allow the individual to quickly experience different types of meetings (open, closed, step study, speaker meetings), which will also offer a diverse range of perspectives and recovery approaches.

This can be an illuminating expression to someone just starting out in recovery who might think that they are alone in their experiences and struggles. Remain open to different perspectives and approaches, allowing for personal growth and transformation throughout the recovery process.

How to attend 90 meetings in 90 days (and get the most out of it)

A meeting every day for 90 days is not an easy challenge, but it’s doable if you have the right mindset and make preparations in advance. Still, be flexible and compassionate with yourself during the process. 

Tackle the logistics

First and foremost, you’ll need to create a schedule for yourself. This means planning out which meetings you’ll attend each day and considering the different locations and start times. Do you have private transportation? If not, you’ll need to consider public transit schedules or coordinate rides in advance. Consider other potential obstacles like work schedules or child care that could impede your ability to attend meetings.

Be an active participant

Engage actively in meetings by sharing experiences, listening attentively, and seeking advice or feedback when needed. Seek connections with other members outside of meetings, fostering supportive relationships and building a sober social network.

Celebrate milestones

Acknowledge and celebrate milestones along your journey. AA makes this easy with physical tokens and social acknowledgment, especially at the early stages. However, don’t forget to celebrate outside of the recovery community in a way that’s meaningful to you.

What if 90 in 90 just isn’t feasible for me?

Spoiler: You’ll still experience major benefits even if you don’t attend 90 consecutive AA meetings! It’s more about the intention of wanting to do better for yourself and giving yourself the resources and support you need to succeed in achieving sobriety. As the saying goes, shoot for the moon because even if you don’t succeed, you land among the stars. Begin your journey today and find an AA meeting near you

What Does Principles Before Personalities Mean in AA?

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the last of the Twelve Traditions uses the phrase “Principles before personalities.” If you, like many other AA members, are stumped by what that means or how to apply it in your everyday life, keep reading. 

What Does “Principles Before Personalities” Mean, and Where Does the Phrase Come From?

The phrase comes from the twelfth principle of AA, as outlined in the Twelve Traditions. It states: “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” 

It refers to the idea that the guiding principles of the program should take precedence over individual personalities or personal preferences. It emphasizes the importance of focusing on the principles and values that are central to recovery rather than getting caught up in personal conflicts, egos, or individual differences.

This principle, as a whole, highlights the significance of maintaining anonymity as a means to protect the unity and integrity of the fellowship. It encourages members to refrain from seeking personal recognition or acclaim, as well as respecting the anonymity of others to create an environment conducive to open sharing and recovery.

What are AA principles?

The Twelve Principles of Alcoholics Anonymous are a set of guiding values and concepts that form the foundation of the program. These principles are outlined in The Big Book and correlate with each of the organization’s 12 Steps. 

Their purpose is to serve as a framework for recovery and personal growth. The principles of AA are: 

  1. Honesty
  2. Hope
  3. Surrender
  4. Courage
  5. Integrity
  6. Willingness
  7. Humility
  8. Love
  9. Responsibility
  10. Discipline
  11. Awareness
  12. Service

Together, these principles provide a roadmap for recovery and personal transformation through self-reflection, moral growth, and the development of healthier relationships with oneself and others.

Examples of When ‘Principles Before Personalities’ Might Apply

The phrase can be applied to various situations both within and outside of the Alcoholics Anonymous community. Here are a few examples of when this saying would be helpful within the organization. 

Group Unity: In AA group settings, individual conflicts or disagreements may arise. “Principles before personalities” reminds members to focus on the common purpose of recovery and adhere to the principles of honesty, humility, and willingness rather than allowing personal conflicts to disrupt the group’s unity.

Service Work: AA encourages its members to work to support the fellowship and help others in recovery. The phrase reminds individuals to carry out their service work without seeking personal recognition or power but rather to prioritize the principles of the program in their actions and share the community with others.

Public Outreach: When representing AA to the public, the principal reminds members to emphasize the principles of the program rather than focusing on individual stories or personal achievements. By doing so, the focus remains on the message of recovery rather than on personal identities.

Sponsorship: In the sponsor-sponsee relationship, this phrase reminds both parties to prioritize the principles of the program over personal preferences or biases. Sponsors should guide their sponsees based on the principles and steps of AA rather than imposing their personal beliefs or agendas.

This phrase is just as helpful when it comes to dealing with the ‘outside world’ too! 

Workplace Environment: Professional settings are not immune to conflict either. Prioritizing principles over personalities means focusing on the core values and ethical standards of the organization rather than personal differences or conflicts. It encourages individuals to find common ground and work towards the greater goals of the company or team.

Political Discourse: Political discussions and debates can quickly become heated. The phrase reminds participants to focus on the principles and values underlying their positions rather than attacking or belittling each other. By engaging in respectful and principled discourse, individuals can foster constructive dialogue and find common ground for effective problem-solving.

Community Organizations: When involved in community organizations or volunteer work, individuals may encounter differences in opinions, personal styles, or approaches. By emphasizing principles over personalities, the focus remains on the organization’s mission and goals, allowing individuals to work together effectively and create positive change.

Managing Relationships: Family dynamics can be tricky to navigate due to differences in personalities, opinions, or lifestyles. Prioritizing principles means focusing on shared values such as love, respect, and understanding and finding ways to navigate differences while maintaining healthy relationships.

It encourages individuals to set aside personal grievances for the sake of maintaining unity and harmony and being willing to forgo protecting personal egos over temporary conflicts. By focusing on shared values and principles, relationships can be strengthened, and conflicts can be resolved more effectively.

Join An AA Community Today

Want to learn more about the Twelve Principles of AA or other Alcoholics Anonymous texts? Find your local AA chapter today. 

The Serenity Prayer: Do You Know the Long Version?

When most people think of the Serenity Prayer, they often recall the powerful opening lines: “God, grant me the serenity to accept things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” These lines have provided strength, comfort, and guidance to those in recovery for decades. 

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” is a plea for inner peace. It’s about acknowledging that aspects of life are beyond our control. “The courage to change the things I can” is a request for strength and bravery. It’s about recognizing we can make changes when necessary and that we know these changes might be difficult, so we ask for courage and wisdom. Finally, “the wisdom to know the difference” is perhaps the most vital part of this prayer. It’s about understanding our limitations and recognizing our potential. 

But have you ever wondered if there’s more to this prayer than meets the eye? Did you know a more extended version dives deeper into acceptance, courage, and wisdom? Let’s delve into this often-overlooked part of the Serenity Prayer and see how to use it.

The Complete Serenity Prayer  

The longer version of the Serenity Prayer, attributed to theologian Reinold Niebuhr, says:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen”

Understanding the Extended Verses: Acceptance, Trust, and Happiness

As we dissect the extended version, we can see it dives further into principles crucial in addiction recovery and life itself. 

“Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time.” This echoes the well-known recovery principle of ‘one day at a time.’ it encourages us to focus on mindfulness and presence and embrace the present moment, regardless of what it holds. 

“Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.” This speaks to the transformative power of acceptance. Both in addiction and recovery. It’s a call to recognize and embrace adversity, not as a block but as a stepping stone to inner peace and sobriety.

“Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.” This powerful sentence reminds us that the world may not always align with our desires and expectations, which is okay. It’s a reminder that acceptance and letting go of control is important for our inner peace. Like other critical values in addiction recovery, it’s a call to surrender to a higher power. 

“Trusting that You will make things right if I surrender to Your will.” Again, an emphasis on faith. Understanding that we’re not alone in our struggles and that trusting a higher power can help restore order and provide solace. 

“So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.” At last, the prayer ends on a note of hope. It’s an assurance that while we may not achieve complete happiness in this life, a reasonable measure of happiness is possible, and supreme happiness awaits us in the future. 

A Richer Understanding of This Prayer

When you look at the full context of the Serenity Prayer, you realize it’s much more than just three lines. When we understand its full meaning, we can use it to draw a richer level of comfort and guidance. Whether recovering or navigating life’s ups and downs, this prayer offers a strong mantra for resilience, surrender, and inner peace. 

So, next time you find yourself whispering of reading the Serenity Prayer, take a moment to remember its full depth. Let its words sink in, guide you, and give you the strength and acceptance you seek. It is, after all, more than a prayer; it’s a roadmap for life, in its joys and struggles. 

The 10 Fundamental Components of Recovery

Recovery is a multifaceted, personal journey involving more than symptom reduction. It’s about building a fulfilling, meaningful life, regardless of mental health challenges. At the heart of this journey lies ten fundamental components of recovery, each contributing uniquely to the process. Let’s explore these pillars, underpinned by extensive research and forming the bedrock of the recovery model.

1. Self-Direction

Recovery starts with the individual. A person’s unique needs, strengths, preferences, and goals guide the process. People in recovery assert control over their own lives, making informed decisions and shaping their path toward wellness.

Tips: Try setting personal goals, like practicing self-care for 10 minutes each day, to help guide your recovery journey. 

2. Individualized and Person-Centered

Each recovery journey is as unique as the person undertaking it. Tailoring plans to the individual – considering their life experiences, cultural background, and values – is key. It recognizes the person behind the diagnosis, emphasizing their individuality and uniqueness.

Tips: Work with your healthcare provider or counselor to develop a treatment plan tailored to your unique needs, preferences, and goals. This might include a combination of medication, psychotherapy, lifestyle changes, and supportive services.

3. Empowerment

Recovery cultivates personal power. People in recovery have the authority to make decisions and choices, fostering a sense of control. Empowerment fuels motivation and instills hope, driving the recovery process forward.

Tips: Do your best to actively participate in your treatment decisions. Learn about your condition and treatment options to make informed decisions about your care. 

4. Holistic

Recovery goes beyond mental health. It encompasses all aspects of a person’s life, including physical health, social networks, community participation, and more. A holistic approach recognizes that various elements interplay to contribute to overall well-being.

Tips: Incorporate practices that support overall wellness, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness or meditation. 

5. Non-Linear

Recovery isn’t a straight path; it’s a series of ups and downs. People might face setbacks, but these don’t denote failure. Instead, they’re part of the process, offering valuable lessons and opportunities for growth.

Tips: Develop a resilience plan to manage these challenging times, such as identifying coping strategies and supportive resources.

6. Strengths-Based

Recovery builds on a person’s strengths and resilience, not just managing their weaknesses. A strengths-based approach empowers individuals to draw upon their innate abilities and resources, fostering self-confidence and resilience.

Tips: Identify your strengths and use them in your recovery process. This could be creative problem-solving skills, empathy towards others, or even a strong determination to overcome challenges.

7. Peer Support

Peer support is a vital element of the recovery model. The shared experiences among people with similar struggles offer a sense of understanding, acceptance, and communal strength that can significantly aid recovery.

Tips: Sharing your experiences and hearing others’ can provide mutual support and encouragement. This could be through formal support groups or online communities.

8. Respect

Recovery flourishes in an environment of respect. This involves overcoming stigma, fostering acceptance, and ensuring that people in recovery have the same rights and opportunities as anyone else.

Tips: Practice self-respect and kindness. Surround yourself with people who respect and support your recovery journey.

9. Responsibility

People in recovery take responsibility for managing their health and wellness. This responsibility extends to seeking help and support, engaging in self-care practices, and taking proactive steps toward recovery.

Tips: Take an active role in your recovery process. This might include adhering to your treatment plan, practicing self-care, and seeking help when needed.

10. Hope

Finally, recovery is grounded in hope. The belief in a better future, that challenges can be overcome, and that a fulfilling life is achievable fuels the journey of recovery.

Tips: Cultivate a hopeful outlook. This could involve keeping a gratitude journal, practicing mindfulness, or visualizing your recovery goals.

Understanding the Fundamental Components of Recovery

These components serve as the foundational elements underpinning the concept of mental health recovery. Regardless of their specific circumstances, diagnoses, or personal background, they are universal and applicable to anyone embarking on a recovery journey.

Recovery is a deeply personal, unique journey – one about surviving and thriving. These ten fundamental components provide a roadmap, a compass to navigate the often complex terrain of mental health recovery. Each element contributes to a broader understanding of what recovery means, reminding us that recovery is not just a possibility – it’s an expectation.

15 Alcoholics Anonymous Acronyms You Need to Know

If you’ve spent any amount of time in an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting or have begun your journey in recovery, you’ve probably encountered a flurry of acronyms. While these shorthand expressions can be confusing at first, they represent essential concepts in recovery. Understanding them can genuinely enrich your journey to sobriety. Let’s demystify some of these AA acronyms you need to know.

1. AA: Alcoholics Anonymous

Starting with the most straightforward one, AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous. This international fellowship has supported each other in recovering from alcoholism since the 1930s. They operate under a renowned 12-step program designed to facilitate steady and sustainable recovery.

2. HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

HALT is a vital tool reminding us to care for our basic needs. If you’re feeling out of sorts, the advice is to stop (or halt) and ask yourself: are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? These four states can make us vulnerable to cravings or relapse, so addressing them can be a crucial step in recovery.

3. KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid

Don’t be offended by the slightly cheeky acronym. KISS is a gentle reminder not to overcomplicate things. Recovery is a process, and getting lost in a maze of what-ifs and how-tos can be easy. This acronym brings us back to basics, urging us to keep things simple and manageable.

4. HOPE: Hang On, Pain Ends

Recovery can be an uphill journey; some days are more challenging than others. HOPE is an important acronym to remember, reminding us that though the pain might seem unbearable now if we can just hold on, it will pass. There are brighter days ahead.

5. FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

Our fears sometimes feel overwhelmingly real, but FEAR reminds us that they often represent False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s a prompt to challenge limiting thoughts or fears that might be getting in the way of our progress.

6. YANA: You Are Not Alone

One of the most comforting acronyms, YANA, is a reassurance that no matter how isolated or alone you might feel in your struggle, a whole community understands and is ready to support you.

7. JFT: Just for Today

JFT echoes the principle of living one day at a time. It encourages us to focus on the here and now rather than worrying about the past or future.

8: SOBER: Son Of a B**ch, Everything’s Real

This acronym might make you chuckle, but it holds a profound truth. SOBER reminds us that in recovery, we have to face reality without the numbing effects of alcohol or drugs. It might be challenging, but it’s a critical part of healing.

9. BB: Big Book

BB refers to the “Big Book,” the fundamental text of AA that outlines the principles and philosophies of the 12-step recovery program. It’s considered a must-read for anyone involved in or considering AA.

10. HP: Higher Power

HP stands for “Higher Power.” AA does not promote any specific religious belief but encourages members to develop a personal understanding of a power greater than themselves, often called a “Higher Power.”

11. GOD: Good Orderly Direction

In AA, GOD often stands for “Good Orderly Direction,” a guidepost for living a sober and fulfilling life according to the principles in the Big Book and the 12-step program.

12. STEP: Solution To Every Problem

STEP reminds us that the 12-step program of AA provides a structure that can help us address and overcome every problem we face in recovery. It underscores the effectiveness of the AA program.

13. QTIP: Quit Taking It Personally

QTIP is a useful acronym for those moments when criticism or negativity affects our serenity. It’s a reminder not to take everything personally and to focus on our recovery journey.

14. ACT: Acceptance, Courage, Truth

ACT encapsulates three core principles in AA: Acceptance of our situation and ourselves, Courage to change what we can, and Truth in all our dealings.

15. NUTS: Not Using The Steps

NUTS is a gentle warning about the dangers of straying from the 12-step program. It highlights the importance of consistently using the steps for continued progress in recovery.

These AA acronyms encapsulate a lesson, a reminder, or a guiding principle for individuals navigating the recovery journey. They’re more than just a collection of letters; they’re the condensed wisdom of the Alcoholics Anonymous program. And now, you have a handy cheat sheet to refer to as you continue your path toward sobriety.