Author: Find Recovery Editorial Team

Alcoholics Anonymous is a peer-based support group that’s open to people of all ages, races, and faiths. Both the individuals who struggle with a drinking problem and those who love them can attend AA meets to learn, share, and find empathy with one another. However, that’s not to say that anyone can just turn up to an AA meeting on any given day. Before dropping in, you’ll need to know the difference between an open and a closed AA meeting.

What is a closed AA meeting?

Open AA meetings are ones that anyone can attend. This means newcomers who are attending their very first AA meeting and want to learn more about the organization as well as non-alcoholics—the friends, family, or coworkers of those with a drinking problem.

The majority of AA meetings, however, are closed. This means that they are limited to current and prospective AA members. There’s no formal membership process in Alcoholics Anonymous so it’s at the discretion of the individual to determine whether they meet the criteria for closed meetings. 

This status of a meeting is usually denoted by the abbreviation ‘OD’ for open discussion or ‘CD’ for closed discussion.

Can I attend a closed AA meeting?

If you’re not sure if this applies to you, refer to Tradition 3—the only thing required is the genuine desire to stop drinking alcohol. If you’ve been attending meetings of the same AA group, you would likely be eligible to go to a closed meeting. If you’re still floating between AA meetings looking for a home group, it could also be a good idea to check with the group beforehand whether you’re considered a member or not. 

Why are some meetings not open to everyone?

Understandably, addiction can be a very sensitive topic. It can take people to dark places that are hard to talk about. Limiting group attendance to those who have committed to the Alcoholics Anonymous ways of operation, namely confidentiality and anonymity, creates an atmosphere where individuals feel more comfortable speaking openly, honestly, and freely. 

The purpose of AA meetings that are available to the general public is to help people learn more about the organization, how meetings are structured, or hear first-hand what dealing with alcoholism is like. It can provide valuable perspective for loved ones who attend Al-Anon or Alateen meetings and also help someone identify whether or not they or someone else is experiencing the same thing.

Open vs closed AA meetings: How are they different? 

The primary difference between open and closed AA meetings is that even with open meetings, it’s typically requested that only members or individuals with alcoholism speak and the newcomers listen and observe. 

Additionally, when the Seventh Tradition collection comes around, non-members will be asked to refrain from contributing (“Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions”).

Aside from those differences, the designation of an open or closed meeting does not inherently determine the format or focus of that meeting. Both open and closed meetings may apply to the various meeting formats: discussion meetings, speaker meetings, or literature meetings. 

Where to find open AA meetings

If you’re trying to locate an AA meeting to attend, the easiest way to find them is online. Many groups will post meeting schedules and details ahead of time. When in doubt, the best option is to call ahead and ask. 

AA meeting advice for beginners

If it’s your first time going to a meeting and you are interested in potentially joining, keep an eye out for beginner meetings. These are geared specifically toward newcomers and tend to focus on the first three of the 12 Steps as an introduction to the organization.

If you’re a newbie and can’t find a beginner meeting at the AA groups near you, another great way to get a feel for the organization, and particularly the people of that group, is to go there early. Lovingly referred to as “the meeting before the meeting”, some members get there early to assist with setting up. 

During this time you have a greater opportunity to make introductions, speak with people individually, and get a one-on-one explanation of that group’s meeting format and what’s coming up. Having an idea of what to expect in an AA meeting is a great way to calm any nervousness you may have about joining for the first time. It’s also the perfect opportunity to let others know ahead of time if you don’t want to introduce yourself or any other specific accommodations you might need. 

Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are typically between 60 and 90 minutes long. There are several different types of meetings that are held, each with specific focuses and routines. One of which is discussion meetings. In this meeting format, a topic related to sobriety is introduced and members discuss it as a group. It’s a great opportunity for new and old members alike to hear different perspectives and gain new insights from peers at varying stages of their recovery journey.

Discussion Meets and other AA Meetings Formats

There are five main Alcoholics Anonymous meeting formats: discussion, speaker, literature-based, meditation, and beginner. The type being held will largely shape how that week’s meeting will function (though they will all begin and end the same way, usually starting with the Serenity Prayer and other readings).  

Discussion meetings are exactly what they sound like. A topic is shared with the group, and all members can discuss and add their two cents. Meditation meetings, on the other hand, may involve some or all of the time having the group partake in silent meditation. 

Speaker meetings are perhaps the most iconic of peer-based support groups. These are when a member shares their story; how they ended up at AA, what made them decide to quit using drugs or drinking, and how they’re faring. Sometimes the floor will be opened up afterward for discussion, but not always. A similar meeting format is the round-robin sharing where the entire group can talk about their personal experiences and respond to one another’s personal divulgences. 

Meetings that revolve heavily around the 12 Steps are literature meetings. These discussions are based on AA literature such as The Big Book or the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. This is the type of meeting that would go over what a step means and how to work it. 

Lastly are the beginner meetings, which are geared towards (but not limited to) newcomers. They usually cover steps one, two, or three which mark the foundational approach for working the twelve steps.  

Who can attend discussion meetings?

There are several nuances that can affect how AA discussion meetings are conducted. These meetings can be open (OD) or closed (CD). Open meetings are open to anyone interested in attending—including new members and non-alcoholics (though they may be asked to refrain from sharing). Closed meetings, on the other hand, are intended only for alcoholics and prospective members. 

Look at a group’s meeting schedule to find out whether the meeting is open or not (most are readily available online). 

AA Topics for Discussion Meetings

No topic is off-limits. Typically, they are related to at least one of the guiding principles of AA and may refer to specific steps, traditions, principles, or even prayers. General ideas of topics for AA open discussion meetings, per the AA website, include:

1. Acceptance

2. Attitude of gratitude

3. Belief in a Higher Power

4. Complacency

5. Contempt prior to investigation

6. Dependence

7. Fear

8. Forgiveness

9. Freedom through sobriety

10. Group inventory

11. Hope

12. Humility

13. Identification

14. Inadequacy

15. Inventory

16. Letting go of anger

17. Let’s be friendly with our friends

18. Living one day at a time

19. Making amends

20. Meditation

21. Open-mindedness

22. Participation and action

23. Patience and tolerance

24. Personal spiritual experience and spiritual awakening

25. Plan the action—not the result

26. Practice these principles in all our affairs

27. Principles before personalities

28. Resentments

29. Responsibility declaration

30. Rigorous honesty

31. Serenity

32. Service

33. Sponsorship

34. Staying away from the first drink

35. Surrender

36. Three Legacies—Recovery, Unity, and Service

37. Twelfth Stepping

38. Understanding Anonymity

39. Ways of carrying the A.A. message

40. What is sobriety

41. Willingness

42. Working with others

If you are part of a specialized AA group, such as one for LGBTQ members, or members of a particular faith, you may find some topics to be more pertinent than others. 

Other things to know about discussion meetings

Just as with any other gathering of Alcoholics Anonymous, sharing is completely optional. Do not worry that you will be forced to chime in or otherwise divulge anything about yourself. There’s a lot that can be gained from AA meetings just from listening. 

If you’re a newcomer, it’s advisable to attend one of the meetings that are tailored for AA newbies. This will give you a better overview of what Alcoholics Anonymous is and how it works. Whichever type of meeting you first attend, keep in mind that if you didn’t like this particular meeting format, there might be a different one that resonates with you later on. It may take a few tries to see if a particular group is a fit. Find a local AA group near you today. 

There are two main reasons why a person would want to stop going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. One is that they feel cured of their alcoholic addiction; they’ve reached a stable point in their recovery journey and feel that they’ve sufficiently soaked in the lessons and wisdom that AA has to offer. The other might be the opposite situation where the peer-based program isn’t resonating with them. In either case, let’s talk about quitting AA: how to figure out if it’s the right call for you, how to go about it, and how to continue your sobriety journey without the organization.

When can I stop going to AA meetings?

One of the greatest features of Alcoholics Anonymous is how easy it is to customize your experience, including, where—and if—you attend. Since AA doesn’t require any sort of formal membership or commitment, you can stop going to meetings whenever you want (unless it’s court-ordered of course).

There’s nothing to be ashamed of

A reason why some might not think it’s okay to do is that the organization itself has a sharp stance on the idea of quitting AA. On page 174 of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book, it says:

“Unless each AA member follows to the best of his ability our suggested Twelve Steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. His drunkenness and dissolution are not penalties inflicted by people in authority; they result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles.”

This gives the impression that quitting AA meetings is something you’re never allowed to do or would guarantee a relapse. However, the operative phrase in this passage is “follows to the best of his ability”. Imagine if you were taking a cooking course halfway through. Do you think that you’d have all the knowledge you need to become a successful chef? Probably not. 

This is essentially the ethos of AA. If you’ve learned the basic principles and made it habitual to implement them in your daily life, then Alcoholics Anonymous has done what it set out to do. If you quit going to meetings before you’ve fully absorbed the 12 Steps, you may not have the perspective or mindset that gives you the best odds of achieving (or maintaining) sobriety.

How to quit AA meetings (and break the news to your group)

Unless you hold a committee position in your Alcoholics Anonymous group, you don’t have any obligation to the other members of the group itself. Once again, you could technically just leave and never return without saying a word to anyone. However, if you’ve been going to the same group for months or years, you’ve likely formed bonds with other attendees, and disappearing could cause them to worry. Here are some steps to take when preparing to break the news to them. 

1. Decide who you want to tell

Whether you’re switching to a different AA group or quitting the organization altogether, you don’t need to announce your decision to leave or notify any of the group members. However, for the people you are closest to, such as your sponsor, you’ll likely want to let them know before just disappearing. If you want to notify those on the group committee as a courtesy you can, but there’s absolutely no obligation to do so. 

2. Have a response ready for any naysayers

If you do plan on telling anyone about your decision to leave, it can be helpful to have a polite but firm response ready for those who might try to convince you to stay. It’s your decision how forthcoming you are with the reason why. If you’re worried about alienating a friend, you can phrase it as that you’re taking a break from meetings but want to keep in touch.  

3. Ask for your information to be removed from any lists

If AA is no longer going to be a part of your life, you may want to ask to have your phone number and email address removed from any correspondence lists. In addition to eliminating outreach about events or other going-ons that are no longer relevant to you, you won’t have to worry about people contacting you trying to get you to return.

4. Have another support system in place

This isn’t something you need to disclose to others, but have some sort of support network in place. Alcoholics Anonymous offers a supportive, nonjudgemental community and structure, both of which are highly important in addiction recovery. Make sure you still have the social security net even if you no longer attend meetings. 

There are plenty of terms and ideologies from Alcoholics Anonymous that have crossed over into mainstream vernacular. The most well-known by far is the concept that admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. This is a reference to Step 1 from AA, one that you’ve very likely heard before even if you’re not in the addiction recovery community. 

Not only is this concept the beginning of the foundation on which all of AA’s 12 Steps are based, but it is central to the fundamental principles of the organization as a whole. If you’re brand new to 12-step-based recovery groups, read this first to learn why being able to admit you have a problem is so important. 

The trouble with denying that you have a drinking problem

Alcoholics—anyone with any type of addiction, really—are often really good at hiding things. This includes hiding things like receipts, injuries, and any signs that their lives are falling apart. Sometimes, they’re so good at this that they end up fooling themselves as well. 

They convince themselves that their drinking habits are fine—and since everything is “fine”, there’s no reason to change. Then, as their substance abuse drives them further and further into isolation and there are only a few (if any) people around them to try and tell them that their drinking is out of hand, this lie gets easier to tell. 

That’s why admitting you have a drinking problem is absolutely pivotal to overcoming addiction. Until reaching this point, an alcoholic likely wouldn’t be receptive to any attempts to change their behavior. Being able to make such an admission is the very sign that you’re now mentally at a place to confront an out-of-control drinking habit.

What are the five stages of recovery?

When working the steps of AA, the first step to recovery is acceptance. However, there’s quite a bit that goes on before a person gets to this stage. The transtheoretical model is a concept that explains the different phases a person goes through before they’re mentally ready to go through addiction treatment. 

1. Precontemplation 

During the precontemplation stage, seeking treatment for alcohol addiction is nowhere on the person’s radar. They’re deeply in denial about their issue; defensive and actively rationalizing their destructive behaviors. Not only are they unwilling to face the reality of their substance abuse, but they’re unable to fully grasp the full scale of the negative consequences.

2. Contemplation

A person who’s open to the idea of getting help or getting treatment has moved into what’s known as the contemplation stage. They’re willing to consider a future that involves being drug-free. They may or may not be willing to admit they have a problem, but they’re far more receptive to friends and family members.

3. Preparation

The preparation stage is entered when a person begins making efforts to change. This could be searching for drug rehab centers online, reading others’ sobriety journeys in forums, dumping their alcohol down the drain, or admitting that they have a drinking problem.

They may successfully go without drinking for a few days. However, it’s common that during this stage people have second thoughts when they realize how much effort getting sober will actually require, and return to the contemplation or even precontemplation stage. 

4. Action

The action stage is marked by continued efforts to make a change in multiple aspects of their life: be it physical, emotional, mental, or social. They’re committed to the process and have successfully maintained prolonged periods of abstinence. Not only are they making the necessary corrections to undo their substance abuse, but they are actively attempting to unlearn old patterns while gaining positive new ones.  

5. Maintenance

As its name implies, the maintenance stage is when a person is continuing their healthy, drug-free lifestyle, and turning abstinence into a permanent habit. Relapse prevention is the primary focus and they have several tools to use to help them deal with triggers and cravings. The person is more independent, confident, and positive about their ability to remain abstinent.

You can only help someone who wants to be helped

No matter how dire a person’s drinking problem may be, nothing will change unless they’re willing to acknowledge its necessity. This can be frustrating to family members and friends as they watch their loved ones self-destruct. While they may be limited in the help they can provide, the situation is far from hopeless. 

A great way to start the addiction recovery process to simply get that afflicted person to an AA meeting. Being confronted with others who have been in their shoes can be the wake-up call they need to get the wheels churning. Find an AA meeting near you and get started for free.