“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
Step 4 had us conduct a “fearless moral inventory” of ourselves where we first recognized our shortcomings. Step 6 ensured we were in the correct headspace (i.e. willing) to give them up – especially the ones we didn’t think were shortcomings in the first place. Step 7 is the culmination of those efforts and requires genuine humility to complete.
What Is a Shortcoming? & Why It Matters
A shortcoming is anything that causes pain or misery in your life. They can be conceptual like a love of money, a fear of being laughed at, a desire for attention. Some are much more concrete such as raising your voice when you’re angry, lashing out when you’re frustrated, being impatient in line. These behaviors themselves are often problematic themselves, but it’s the “why” behind this behavior that we are concerned with.
Often, this “why” is rooted in a lack of humility. This doesn’t always look like arrogance (i.e. feelings of grandeur or superiority to others), however, as it can manifest itself in many ways. It often leads to overconfidence in our own capabilities that 1) prevents us from recognizing the need to change ourselves and 2) makes our alcoholism worse by promoting self-reliance rather than turning to a Higher Power. For this reason, a lack of humility is also partially to blame as both cause and prolonger of one’s alcohol problem.
The Importance of Humility
Besides being an admirable trait for any human being to have, humility is especially necessary for alcoholics. Humility allows individuals to gain a new perspective. How can you even begin to entertain the idea of becoming a better person if you don’t think anything can be improved upon? No matter the convincing your sponsor, meeting chair, or therapist may try, unless the willingness to change comes from within, the changes you make are likely to be superficial in nature and short-lived.
Think of your mindset before you completed Step 1. You probably felt that you were in ultimate control of your life and that your Higher Power just helped out every once in a while. Since then, you’ve grown to accept that one can’t be self-reliant when it comes to change since it is our doings that got us into this mess in the first place.
Working Step 7: The Removal of Shortcomings
Completing this step requires more than simply reciting the Step 7 Prayer or having a meaningful heart-to-heart with your Higher Powerful. It’s counterintuitive, but although step 7 says to ask for the removal of shortcomings, it’s actually directing you to take action. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, asking for shortcomings to go away won’t happen with just words or intentions alone. “Asking” indicates a willingness to take actions that will eventually lead you to your goal.
For example: say you employ the help of a personal trainer to lose 50 pounds. No matter how much you ask for the desired outcome, they can’t magically remove that weight. What they can do, however, is provide instructions and guidance on how to achieve it for yourself. The responsibility then falls on you to follow through, apply their teachings to your daily life, and ultimately make the choices that will bring you to where you want to be. So while step seven may seem passive by simply saying to “ask”, it’s actually priming you for action.
Final Thoughts
In Step 7, we are no longer simply acknowledging these flaws, but are urged to make actionable changes in both our mindset and our behavior; to approach everything we say, do, and think with character growth at the forefront of our thoughts. Humility is a crucial aspect of accomplishing this and is at the base of our willingness to accept and seek change for ourselves.
Having come this far, the hopes are that you genuinely appreciate the purpose of humility and truly want to learn how to be humble – not just as a checkmark to move on to the next steps. Step 7 is an ongoing exercise that is never truly finished so don’t be frustrated if you don’t nail it in a single go. If you’re still struggling with this concept, revisit Step Four.
