Sponsorships are an important part of the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery method. Sponsors are essentially people with personal experience in the AA method who can guide less experienced recovering alcoholics.
AA sponsors are not certified behavioral therapists and do not provide diagnostics, treatment, or medication. They provide gentle guidance on the path to sobriety, offering a compassionate, more experienced perspective on the struggles recovering alcoholics face.
In this article, we’ll describe what AA sponsors are, who’s qualified to be a sponsor, and a few tips to be a better sponsor.
Tips To Be An Effective AA Sponsor
You have been chosen to be an AA sponsor as part of your journey to stay sober. These are some tips and advice to help you have a more successful experience as an AA sponsor.
1. Stay Sober
This is obvious, but one of the core responsibilities of an AA sponsor is to lead by example. How? By staying sober and faithful to the AA teachings. If you relapse while acting as a sponsor, you should let your sponsee(s) know and focus on recovering your sobriety before continuing to fulfill your sponsorship role.
2. You’ve Been Sponsored
You’ve worked the Steps in the past with your sponsor who has given you the expertise to help guide others by offering your experience, advice, and hope. Ideally, you can merge the teachings of your sponsor with your personal experience to help your new sponsee(s) through their journey to sobriety.
3. Be Humble
Humility is understanding your strengths and weaknesses and being honest with your sponsee. You don’t have an inflated idea of yourself, but at the same time, you know how to provide your experience productively. As a sponsor, you should also encourage your sponsee(s) to humble themselves.
4. Be Compassionate
People recovering from alcoholism are at a vulnerable time in their lives when feelings of shame and uncertainty are common. As a sponsor, you should be compassionate with their struggle but also learn to be firm in certain areas.
It’s a moderate stance you’ll need to learn over time: not being so soft that you enable them, but also not being so firm that you come off as uncaring. Remember, you were once in their footsteps.
5. Be A Good Listener
Be willing to listen to your sponsee actively. Be patient when they have trouble expressing their feelings. Learn to be comfortable when they don’t have the words to express their thoughts, validate their emotions, and ask compassionate, clarifying questions.
6. Know Your 12-Steps by Heart
Sobriety is a life-long search that doesn’t end. Your knowledge of the 12 steps must be solid, and you should be capable of applying what you know to stay sober long-term. This consistent experience will be invaluable to your sponsee(s).
7. Be Willing To Take Your Sponsee(s) Out Of Their Comfort Zone
Be willing to help your sponsee(s) acquire new knowledge by going slightly away from their comfort zone. It’ll help them gain new perspectives and explore new ways to stay sober. You can encourage them to attend different AA meetings or read new AA literature to gain a deeper understanding of their recovery process.
What’s An AA Sponsor?
According to AA’s “The Big Book,” an AA sponsor is a person with an alcohol use disorder who “has made some progress in the recovery program and shares that experience with another alcoholic attempting to attain or maintain sobriety through AA.”
Sponsors are essentially more experienced recovering alcoholics who share what they’ve learned with less experienced recovering alcoholics. Their importance lies in acting like role models, providing motivation and encouragement, and being a source of information for less experienced recovering alcoholics.
Who’s Qualified To Be An AA Sponsor?
There are a few requirements potential sponsors should fulfill before being eligible to help others heal:
- They’ve Been Sober For A Year. Preferably for more, but if they’ve been sober for at least 12 months, they are dedicated to recovering from alcoholism and improving their lives. Someone who has just become sober doesn’t have enough experience to guide someone in the same position.
- They’re The Same Gender As The Sponsee. This isn’t a requirement, but it’s encouraged. Since most people are heterosexual, being sponsored by someone of your same gender will minimize the possibility of any side developing romantic feelings or infatuations.
- They Have Less Than Two Or Three Sponsees. If someone is already sponsoring three or more recovering alcoholics, it’s probably better to look for another sponsor with more time to dedicate to their sponsee.
AA Sponsors Are Important For Recovery
A good, compassionate, humble sponsor can be an excellent guide for people just taking their first steps into sobriety. Their work is essential. That’s why they should be experienced and patient with recovering alcoholics. Their guidance and compassion can contribute to their health for the rest of their lives. If you’re considering becoming a sponsor soon, keep these tips in mind to help your sponsees succeed.
