While both Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon are based on the 12-step recovery model and share many other similarities, the 12 principles of Al-Anon are different from the 12 principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
Alcoholics Anonymous principles are designed to help individuals struggling with alcohol addiction find recovery and healing. These principles outline the steps that individuals can take to address their addiction, including admitting powerlessness over alcohol, seeking help and guidance from a higher power, and making amends to those they have harmed.
The 12 Principles of Al-Anon, on the other hand, are designed to help the loved ones of alcoholics find peace and healing in the face of their loved one’s addiction. They also provide a framework for addressing the negative patterns and behaviors that often arise in relationships with alcoholics, and offer guidance on how to find support and strength in the face of these challenges.
What are the 12 Principles of Al-Anon and what do they mean?
Al-Anon and AA technically have identical principles that serve as the foundation of each respective organization. However, the key difference between them is how they are applied and put into practice for Al-Anon members.
For example, the principle of admitting powerlessness over the alcoholic’s behavior helps loved ones recognize that they cannot control or change the alcoholic’s actions and that their attempts to do so have likely only caused more pain and turmoil. By surrendering control and seeking support from a higher power or community, loved ones can begin to find peace and healing in their own lives and let go of the guilt or anger they may feel toward themselves or their loved ones.
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Acknowledging that loved ones cannot control or change the alcoholic’s behavior and that attempts to do so have only caused chaos and distress in their lives.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
In recognition that ultimately, the individual with the drinking problem is responsible for their actions (as well as changing them), friends and family members of this person relinquish both control and the idea that they as an individual can “fix” the alcoholic in their life.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
The first and second principles mentally prepare us to surrender control. The third principle puts it into action and encourages Al-Anon members to trust a higher power to guide their loved one’s sobriety, as well as manage their own emotions.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Loved ones must take an honest look at their own behavior and attitudes, and acknowledge any negative patterns that may be contributing to the alcoholic’s behavior. By being willing to change and grow, loved ones can create positive change in their own lives and in their relationships with the alcoholic.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
A loved one in Al-Anon may be an enabler racked with guilt, or perhaps in their frustration over the situation, take out their anger on an innocent family member. There are countless circumstances where even the loved ones of alcoholics may find themselves with wrongs they need to right. Confessing and owning up to those mistakes establishes accountability from others and will lead to changes in behavior.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Similar to that of the alcoholic in AA, the loved one in Al-Anon must be willing to let go of negative or harmful patterns and behaviors. Since they already admitted to a lack of control over the situation, they must then turn to a higher power to have them removed.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
This means recognizing that we cannot change or heal ourselves. Whatever this “higher power” is to the individual, this step is when we look to it with an earnest intention to be a better person.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
The principle of making amends to those we have harmed helps loved ones repair relationships and address any harm they may have caused to others. By taking responsibility for their actions and seeking to make things right, loved ones can find healing and reconciliation in their relationships.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
This means taking action to make amends and repair relationships while also considering the well-being of others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Being a supportive partner isn’t something that just happens overnight. Just as a person in recovery will have setbacks, so too can the supporting family members or friends. Ongoing self-reflection and willingness to correct those mistakes will maintain an atmosphere of forgiveness and encouragement.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
The 11th principle highlights the importance of having the right mindset as you near the end of the program. Seeking a deeper connection with a higher power (and maintaining that desire for a deeper connection) will keep one mindful of their ultimate goal.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Once a person has gone through all 12 principles of Al-Anon, the idea is to share the experience with other family and friends of those with Alcoholics and apply the principles of Al-Anon to all areas of our lives.
These principles focus on helping loved ones recognize their own powerlessness over their alcoholic’s behavior, seek support and guidance from a higher power, and take steps to change and grow in their own lives. Learn more and find an Al-Anon meeting near you today.
